Witchvox Article

Author:
Posted: December 10th. 2000
Times Viewed: 5,778

I never cease to be amazed by the many trivial issues that keep arising to divide the Pagan community. The issues run the entire list from true ethical puzzles, like the morality of eating meat, to the neurotically absurd, like whether or not an athame's handle HAS to be black. If we're not arguing over whose initiation is more legitimate, we're fighting about whether or not the proper word is "pentagram" or "pentacle." We bicker over the proper color of robes, and whether it's ethical to cast a healing spell without the recipient's knowledge. Why? Don't we have better things to do? Or is all this in-fighting just the way we deal with our private issues of insecurity and the legitimacy of our own traditions? Maybe when we pronounce judgement that this person is a real Pagan but that one is not, it assuages our own fears that we may not, after all, truly be Pagan ourselves. Sometimes I think all this nit-picking is part of a Baptist conspiracy to keep us from fully claiming our power! Thus we are devolving into disempowered, neurotic busybodies, instead of getting on with our lives and living as we believe our Deities would have us live.

Now we're fighting over sex. What is proper Pagan sex? Is it group sex? Is it monogamy? At the risk of sounding unconscionably snotty, allow me to answer this question with one of my own:

Who the hell's business is my sex life but mine and my deities'?

If we must battle over trivialities, we need to pick a better time in which to fight. Depending on the outcome of this asinine political brouhaha in Florida, we could be losing the small gains in religious freedom that we have fought so hard for. It looks like our next president may well be an undereducated and overly opinionated bumpkin who has already stated that our faith in not legitimate. In the face of this, shouldn't we all be concentrating on something more important than sex? Maybe we should be just a tad bit interested in figuring out just why we let these petty distractions stand in the way of presenting a united front. We have to be able to work together to keep our collective rights. If we don't get over ourselves, agree to disagree, and stand shoulder-to-shoulder, we stand a very good chance of getting our Pagan butts kicked.

I think one of the things I treasure most about life as a Pagan is the tremendous freedom we are given---the freedom to pick and choose our own paths, and our own lifestyles. This includes our sex lives. My sexual style is just that---mine. It may not suit the Pagan down the block, just as his or hers may not suit me, but it is a private matter; a matter between me, my partner(s), and the Lady and Lord.

If I recall correctly (and I'm pretty sure I do), the Lady says "ALL acts of love and pleasure are my rituals." She does not specify that we be monogamous, polyamorous, gay, straight, or involved intimately with rubber chickens and bicycle pumps. She doesn't say "monogamous heterosexual missionary position sex, " nor does she say "group sex with six men, four women and a musk ox." She just says that ALL acts of love and pleasure are worship to Her. She leaves the definition of those acts up to us. She allows us, in Her great grace and wisdom, to choose for ourselve how and whom we will love.

So what does this mean? How do we define proper Pagan sex? I believe we can define it simply as this: good, joyus, LOVING sex, between consenting adult humans, in whatever way pleases the adults in question (I have to leave out human/animal sex, as I believe it violates the free will of the animals, and it's really just too yukky to deal with). If we are happy, honest, loving and giving in our sex lives, then our sex lives honor the Deities. That is the only hard and fast definition of Pagan sex. Anything else is just personal preference. And personal preference is, well...personal.

I am blessed to be part of an intertraditional group of Pagans that meets once a month for fellowship. Within that group there are gay Pagans, straight Pagans, Pagans who are really into sado-masochism and bondage and dominance, married or otherwise partnered Pagans, and single Pagans. We don't quibble; not over sexual styles or traditions, or cloak colors or where the pentacle goes on the altar. None of us has ever said (or thought, as far as I know), "He's a Pagan, she's not---he might be, but I sure think the color of his socks is suspicious." We simply love each other, and rejoice in the fact that we are all Pagans together. More groups like this are starting throughout Southern California. Hopefully, it's the wave of the future.

If you truly believe in your heart of hearts that you are a Pagan, if you honor the Deities and the Earth and yourself, if you strive to live in harmony with the Earth and your fellow beings, then I have news for you. GUESS WHAT? YOU ARE A PAGAN!!!! Furthermore, you are a Pagan regardless of what anyone else thinks of you or your sleeping arrangements. This also means, however, that others who call themselves Pagans are Pagans regardless of what you think of them. The matter is not up to you or anyone else to judge. Pagans are known by the contents of their hearts, not their stomachs, wallets, book cases, or beds.

Surely our hearts are big enough and wise enough to understand this.

Ivy Greenwood

ABOUT...

Location: , USA

Bio: I'm a 44-year-old Eclectic Wiccan woman, who is fairly monogamous and fairly straight (but not, as the tee-shirt says, narrow). I have two children; an eight-year-old girl and a ten-year-old boy. I've been Wiccan for fourteen years, and I've been writing for most of my life. Rowan Press recently published my e-booklet, "An Educator's Guide to Witchcraft." I've been a guest editorialist with the Ventura County Star, here in Southern California. I feel very honored that the Jewish Anti-Defamation League recently acquired one of my editorials for publication in an upcoming textbook.

Other Listings: To view ALL of my listings: Click HERE

Email ... (No, I have NOT opted to receive Pagan Invites! Please do NOT send me anonymous invites to groups, sales and events.)

Home - TWV Logos - Email US - Privacy

News and Information

Chapters: Pagan/Heathen Basics - Pagan BOOKS - Traditions, Paths & Religions - Popular Pagan Holidays - TV & Movies - Cats of the Craft - Festival Reviews - Festival Tips - White Pages (Resources) - Issues/Concerns - West Memphis 3 - Witch Hunts - Pagan Protection Tips - Healing Planet Earth

Your Voices: Adult Essays - Young Pagan Essays - Pagan Perspectives (On Hold) - WitchWars: Fire in the Craft - Gay Pagan - Pagan Parenting - Military - Pagan Passages

Pagan Music: Pagan Musicians - Bardic Circle at WitchVox - Free Music from TWV

Vox Central: About TWV - Wren: Words, Wrants and Wramblings - Guest Rants - Past Surveys - A Quest for Unity

Weekly Updates: Click HERE for an index of our weekly updates for the past 6 years

W.O.T.W. - World-Wide Networking

Your Town: A Link to YOUR Area Page (The largest listing of Witches, Pagans, Heathens and Wiccans on the Planet)

VoxLinks: The Pagan Web: 8,000 Listings

Your Witchvox Account: Log in Now - Create New Account - Request New Password - Log in Problems

Personal Listings: Pagan Clergy in Your Town - Adult Pagans - Young Pagans - Military Pagans

Events: Circles, Gatherings, Workshops & Festivals

Covens/Groups/Orgs: Local Groups Main Page

Other LOCAL Resources: Local Shops - Regional Sites - Local Notices - Global/National Notices - Local Skills & Services - Local Egroups - Political Freedom Fighters

Pagan Shopping: Online Shops Index - Original Crafters Sites - Auction Sites - Pagan Wholesalers - Pagan Local Shops

Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2009 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.

Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.

Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wrenâ€™s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witchesâ€™ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.

Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.

Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.

Witches, Pagans
of The World

Current Topic
Editorial Guide

NOTE: The essay on this page contains the writings and opinions of the listed author(s) and is not necessarily shared or endorsed by the Witches' Voice inc.

The Witches' Voice does not verify or attest to the historical accuracy contained in the content of this essay.

All WitchVox essays contain a valid email address, feel free to send your comments, thoughts or concerns directly to the listed author(s).