Page: Profile: (Personal)
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Personal Profile for...
Magickal Path: Solitary Practitioner
Age Group: Adult
Sun Sign: Leo
Occupation: still bipolar, p/t laptop tech
Relationship Status: Married
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Located in: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Likes: I view Wicca as a compassionate goddess/god relationship that rings far more true than the "corporatized" religions currently dictating their rulebooks over society.
Dislikes: Everyone has their strengths, weaknesses, and twists of fate in their experiences. However, I find deceit in particular tends to lead to bizarre results occurring.
(NOTE: "Simesa" is a temporary name, not a Craft one.)
--- "Religion is for people afraid of going to hell -- Spirituality is for those who have already been there." ---
The first witch I ever met was a high school classmate named kathe who deliberately befriended me and who we all adored intensely. Kind beyond words, she was truly a radiant being. I knew her about two years before she died tragically in a freak windstorm -- we were literally devastated. I think of her every day, as I believe several of us do (at least I did until a bizarrely unfortunate event in February 2012, but I hope to resume that now) . I still worship the ground she walked on, and normally see some of her in every woman I meet.
I've been pagan-oriented since 2008 (attending occasional Beltane and Fires of Venus festivals, and, for awhile, some open Wiccan celebrations) . I was hurt badly (I test to be a Highly Sensitive Person) by a Wiccan-related problem that I had no prior inkling was even a possibility, from which it has taken so long to recover that I've decided to stay a solitary practitioner. My ailing wife of over four years is herself a long-time solitary practitioner because she does not wish to follow anyone else's path.
My profile used to be virtually a resume. I've been to some unusual places in the U.S. and done many things I never expected to. Through it all I've always had the greater good in mind, and my lack of self-centeredness has too often led to a large amount of heartache.
Apparently I'm going to remain an uninitiated solitary practitioner, although a well-read one. The reason was not made known to me, and it was only while deep in the book "The Spiral Dance" that I recently found it. Certain personal practices in my marriage and a fetish I've always really rathered I didn't have make me a poor candidate. I've tried to make the best (or at least safest) of each situation as it arose, but that approach hasn't served me well.
I exist to serve others -- not in a submissive way (unless the situation calls for that) , but in a contributory one. That's just the way I am, for if I'm not making others happier I usually am not too happy myself.
I have a preference for strong women (and have asked to work under at least one) . My wife is both easily my equal and superior in several vital aspects (we're both Mensa members, where we met -- only her Chronic Lyme Disease holds her down) . We're not identical people, but we meld our different strengths into a happy marriage.
My greatest failings have come when I've been called on to be the stereo-typical "alpha male". I simply have never believed that forcing situations through into a "win-lose" was preferable to finding a "win-win" outcome. Developing a bipolar condition at age 37 certainly didn't help (the result of overwork and an undesired divorce) -- although under control 20 years later, the shadows of a decade of misery still haunt me. (For the record, one of my brothers had an identical breakdown in late 2007, which dragged me into a different morass.)
I've long had a saying (based on a Shakespeare quote that I've since learned is renowned here) : "A man who will lie to others, will lie to himself as well." However, the most important verse to me is "With our brothers, we will share" from the song "One Tin Soldier". Finally, there's a quote from Cantrell (see below) -- "Witches harm none, not because they fear the consequences of the Threefold Law, but because all is sacred."
My favorite song is "Time Will Tell" from (appropriately) "Wizards" -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwlgNT-vDEA (note that the commonly-reprinted lyrics say "break the spell" when the song is clearly "bring the spell", and that the MP3 file has a lot better sound than the Youtube video) . I've been watching videos, and one I've long admired still strikes a chord -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgzXwpePTTU
The books I've found most useful so far are listed below. However, in the end the Goddess is right -- if that which you seek you find not within you.....
-- Starhawk's "The Spiral Dance" (which I am finally reading well, after feeling "blocked" in previous attempts)
-- Starhawk & Valentine's "The Twelve Wild Swans" (a brief fairy tale with perspectives and exercises)
---- (but see the next paragraph below before reading this book)
-- Murphy-Hiscock's "Solitary Wicca For Life" (a little higher than novice level)
-- Penczak's "The Inner Temple of Witchcraft" (a full introductory course, his way)
-- Cantrell's "Wiccan Beliefs & Practices"
-- Lipp's "The Elements of Ritual"
-- Wildman's "Wiccan Meditations"
-- Raven Grimassi's "The Wiccan Mysteries: Ancient Origins & Teachings"
-- Klein's "The Flowering Rod -- Men, Sex, and Spirituality"
-- Holland's "Wicca Handbook"
-- "Shamanic Journey Solo and Double Drumming" (an album for journeying)
-- "Celtic Trance" (an album for special energy-raising)
-- "Daughters of the Celtic Moon" (Lisa Lynne -- an excellent album for calming mood music)
-- Llewellyn's "Witches Spell-A-Day Almanac" deserves mention as being useful for keeping solitary practitioners involved.
CAUTION: I think I want to advise against most novices reading "The Twelve Wild Swans". The reason for that is that it likely will interfere with their training and evaluation by their coven leaders. For someone like me going Solitary, "The Twelve Wild Swans" is a valuable book -- but for a young novice, reading it might derail the desired process (so ask your coven leader first) .
My wife of nearly five years had been a witch for a number of years before I met her. She currently suffers from Chronic Lyme Disease (at present basically incurable) as well as a second major condition (new and as yet undiagnosed) .
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