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Page: Profile: Poetry
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Poem Specs
VxPoem ID: 31225
Category:
humor
Posted: November 30th. 2007 7:14:56 PM
Views: 346 |
not poems but hey but is funny and might be art
by aj atkinson
Age Group: Adult
Sure, everyone always said 'Socrates what is the meaning of life?' or
'Socrates how can I find happiness?', did anyone ever say 'Socrates
hemlock is poison????
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. Carl Gustav Jung
It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. Alfred Adler
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. Brendan Gill
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand. Benny Hill
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercouse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. Mark Twain
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent. Socrates
A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. Helen Rowland
A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce. Don Quinn
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. Mae West
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Oscar Wilde
My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. Lao Tsu
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting. Billy Rose
A rich man's joke is always funny. Proverb
Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river. Cordel Hull
When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes. Dylan Thomas
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. Winston Churchill
Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance. William Shakespeare
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. Oscar Wilde
There are three faithful friends—an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. Benjamin Franklin
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Oscar Wilde
I can resist everything except temptation. Oscar Wilde
To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times. Mark Twain
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. Arthur Block
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. Albert Einstein
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. Franklin P. Jones
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. Richard Harkness
Youth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day. Benito Mussolini
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate
it. Franklin P. Jones
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should
have been more specific. -- Jane Wagner
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. Oscar Wilde
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because
I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown
Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a mistake
when you make it again. F. P. Jones
"Sure, everyone always said 'Socrates what is the meaning of life?' or
'Socrates how can I find happiness?', did anyone ever say 'Socrates
hemlock is poison.'???????" Socrates right before his death
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn't. Erica Jong
The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is
generally employed only by small children and large nations. David Friedman
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. W. C. Fields
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...' Isaac Asimov
Author's Notes: i have too much time on my hands i thought these were fuuny do u?
Author's Location: ottawa, Ontario
More Poems: aj atkinson has posted 3 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about aj atkinson - Click HERE
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