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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,234,926  



Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 10503

Category:
personal_life

Posted: March 15th. 2005 11:49:28 AM

Views: 1509

The Return of Forever, Memory, Feeling, of Me

by Widdershins

Age Group: Adult



I thought I had let go
But I found I was wrong
I made steps
But I did not cut all the lines
I thought I could do it
But I realized I couldn't
And I saw also
That I did not have to
I will continue
To keep this tentative thread
Even though sometimes it hurts
Sometimes it makes me cry
Last night one part of me lived
And then it died
In the night it was reborn
And I lived the same way
Renewed
And still feeling torn
I saw and faced my pain
I saw and faced what I had to admit
I re-lived a fear that had nothing to do with fearing
I re-lived a great sacrifice
Which caused me more regrets than anything else
I faced it and brought it all forth into the light
I faced it and now I'm at an emotional peace
I'm waiting for fate to take me wherever I need to go
I felt old feelings catch flame again
The circle be echoed, almost repeated
The same feelings, hopes, emotional reelings
I saw that I had not forgotten
I stayed forever there
And only in sleep was my acceptance based
Yes, it's still there
I feel suddenly a hunger to watch for the same things I did
I feel a need to return to that same places in myself now renewed
I wish I could somehow backtrack
Right a few wrongs
Tell the whole truth
I wish I would have realized
But now is good too
I just wish that now there was something I could do
I will never forget
And I relized
I don't want to!
I lived for that
And then I tried to let it go
I tried to forget
Bury it in the snow...
I found it again
Fate brought it forth
I saw it there
Covered in frost
Awakening from sleep
I saw it there
It had not died!
And I embraced it
With a new mind...
I had accepted it
And thought I'd let go
I saw that I didn't
And I'm glad that I thought that, that I didn't know
I know it causes me pain
But that pain means I'm alive!
I saw it there waiting
And now I'm ready to embrace it again...
This feeling...
The want to see what I wanted to see
The examination of the smallest details
The small joys
And my internal kicking
How I hated myself for not saying
Being blinded
And now I say something else
I say that I love myself
And I shall accept and see
That these "terrible things"
Are just as well a part of me
They do not diminish my love
And seeing that
I can let it shrink back...
I can just Be
And I want to Be
This is what's called
The return of forever
The return of memory
The return of feeling
The return of me...




Author's Notes: Please, do ask and I will tell...
It is an interesting story!


Author's Location: Szeged, Hungary
More Poems: Widdershins has posted 234 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Widdershins - Click HERE
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