Page: Profile: Poetry
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VxPoem ID: 22533
Posted: June 23rd. 2006 7:46:12 AM
I should die for the love that is living
Age Group: Adult
I should die for the love that is living
I should have died for the love that was lost
I should have perished when my new love
Was tainted by the memory of the old
I should die because I cannot let go
No matter how much beauty fills my life
With a love that isn’t unreachable like the first…
But the first haunts me forever
It’s unfulfilled memory is tormenting me
And a part of me doesn’t want to let go
I should die for that I suppose…
I feel so alone in this turmoil
To have loved and continue loving despite all the wounds
To love, but not one man alone
I know which one deserves my love the most
But the other still haunts my life
For that I know one day I shall die
What I could never have with the first
No matter how passionate was that love’s embrace
What there was missing is present here
And yet the memory of the old will not settle
It leaves me no rest…
I said goodbye but realized
That the love never did and never will die…
My love’s gift is choking my throat
For having thought longingly at a memory long past
But it’s protecting me as well…
It is perhaps I who doesn’t deserve what I have
Because the void does not want to be filled
And I hate it for that
I don’t want to remember the long stretches of time
In which the desire and the promise of love was so strong
And just at the last minute it was snatched away…
I don’t want to remember it I want it to be filled!
I don’t want to feel sorrow and grief
But it haunts me no matter how happy I am
It shall never leave me be…
A monster that has claimed a part of my life
A monster who will never cease to cause strife
A monster that I love and hate at all times…
Those memories will never fade… no matter how abstract they’ve become
Those desires are still burning… uncontrollably…
It is unfair of me to feel them, unfair to my love
And for that… one day I shall die…
Dec. 26, 2005
Author's Notes: o_o this was written when I was put into the fateful situation for getting together with someone I loved, and yet deep down still having my heart promised elsewhere... XP sheesh, it's not fun.
Author's Location: Szeged, Hungary
More Poems: Widdershins has posted 234 additional poems- View them?
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