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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,202,700  



Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 24183

Category:
personal_life

Posted: September 7th. 2006 5:03:19 PM

Views: 856

Am I going to hell?

by Widdershins

Age Group: Adult



It’s the hurt that gets to you in the end…
the way you become so indifferent…
staring at memories, and… I’m shivering
because through it all, I’m somewhat…
afraid of you. Hesitant to know you…
afraid to be open to you ever again…
because when I’d thought that in you
was the solace I sought… the black nights
sprinkled with stars, the fantasy worlds
cascading over me, joining me…
the fantasy tasted me and bit deep and
I’d become… my fantasy…
I’d made you, written you
the Green Fantasy so long ago…
it had been an effort to see the light once more…
because the world you come from was…
so unfriendly, commerce…
not what I’d seen you in, not your aura
of mystery, of other worlds…
green fields, or even the sea…
I’d been so absorbed by what you deemed so…
wonderful, I’d been there so I’d know…
what it is that makes you, what you are…
but I’m afraid to know now, though
maybe… one day I’ll find out.
I can never again be in the place I was
never to feel what I’d felt…
but the frustration of never being held, of being
just a metaphysical… cyber thing…
had hurt me more than anything… your
unwillingness… or carelessness, to
change that situation… had been…
my undoing…
So I ask in the end…
bitter and tired, yet so young…
am I going to hell? is this your scheme, am I
following along… or have I been eluded
by reality?

September 7, 2006




Author's Notes: Sequel to “Would I have gone to hell?”, but placed under a different category all the same…


Author's Location: Szeged, Hungary
More Poems: Widdershins has posted 234 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Widdershins - Click HERE
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