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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,232,669  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 30891


Posted: November 2nd. 2007 4:31:09 AM

Views: 956

Disembodied smile

by Widdershins

Age Group: Adult

In the mirror is a disembodied smile,
the rest has been shaking in anger all this while…
in the silent moments when only the wind can be heard,
the gentle rustle of the leaves lets the absurd emerge…
locked away in a light haven,
fighting the epic battles that are gently released
for the light to play upon them…
anger on the periphery, stones with graving etched
into each one of them – in here all is lost…
all has surrendered surreptitiously to chaos.
Is there any hope left, or is it withering? disembodied
smiles hover over them…
peaceful eyes behold the things locked away…
seethe in silence, and smile as brightly as sunshine
every single day… the surface touches a deep chord,
there’s nothing magical about it – a monster to be abhorred…
what secrets does it gnaw upon, who is screaming,
as I gently drift away… off course…
tell me, what is the meaning of being lonely:
when you are alone, or when there’s someone there, but completely
impossible to reach… barrier after barrier—
I grow weary of demolishing,
I’m tired of abject, numbed suffering… as if the dull notices
completely painless, solved everything, nothing changes
that it is there… I am not well. I cannot seem to escape
from this hell at times, and thus I provide shielding,
with only weapons on the outer reach, the ones I’m wielding,
and faced with victory or defeat…
I grow weary of accomplishing feat after feat…
Each tiny battle leaves me shaking and fatigued; each time
I devote a small amount of attention to answer my needs…
but in the depth of me this loathing breeds…
what is it to be composed of darkness and shadow,
with only a disembodied smile to show… can I touch a string
that leads to deep within, and send down the line
some sort of joyous feeling…?
Time hunts me… it is forever hungry, and its pace
never ceasing… always running just ahead of me…
Is a legacy truly forever? why must it still exist,
why does it matter… it even matters when I can no longer release,
it still matters even if all that’s left is the bleak wasteland…
there’s nothing left to hold in my hand and squeeze,
to drain it of the poison which I wade through constantly…
I’m screaming because I’m afraid… I’ve been locked
inside this horror-filled cage… I keep wanting to escape,
but each time I manage to open a door, I feel it’s too late…
some sort of taint latches onto me,
I fight until I achieve victory, and once I’ve defeated
these tireless enemies, the door… is once again closed to me…
I’m shaking because I’m afraid… to be here and to be affected
I can’t seem to digest all the people who can so easily
reject me and make sure I feel unwanted…
is there a purpose here for me?…

…A gentle soul is a mere ghost
haunting a body which feels wretched for the most,
the sickness that keeps attacking it is forever on the doorstep,
and a disembodied smile is the preferred disguise…
I’m smiling, you see, I’m alright…
she’s shivering in the cold of the night, she is terrified…
sometimes she feels strong, but later on it seems like a lie…
barriers… walls… stops… anything
to help get rid of… invasion, persuasion, hatred…
and inside, things crumble in fear…
tyranny of hanging on things, relying on the shield—
barriers… walls… everyone uses them,
everyone shuts everyone else out… and
this heartless manner of touching makes me recoil…
where I unwound a spool of love, some places it brought
me back taint, some others it was held onto, and not let go…

In thin strands exists the interconnectedness
of all beings… in this cage where I am forced to exist,
people rely on their sharp tools to break this…
in this place where horrors are natural,
where people are accepting of everything,
where everything is grouped under “life”…
can anyone feel their ties? Can you sense all these beings…
can you feel their horrible suffering…
can you coldly claim that it’s their fault…?
I feel so lost here… so lost… everything
my soul sought seems to be gone… by the time
I arrived – what was left?
scars and memories that no one is willing to forget…
you are sized up based on your steel,
and everyone disregards the way you truly feel…
why did I come here… where my smile,
is not cherished, only by the few who take the time to know me,
the few who truly strive to understand me, and who know
why I cannot stand this place… why I feel I am locked in a cage…

Does it have to hurt when you are cast out?
grouped, with traits all assumed, judged by your surface,
pounded, because it’s become so natural to pound…
it’s so natural to hurt,
it’s so natural to ignore love, so natural
to be one with cold ideals, and sever all other ties…
it’s completely natural
to live lies… all the way down the line…
can anybody recognize, that there’s more to me than meets the eye…
can anybody see the truth of my disembodied smile…
does anyone have a spark of compassion left in them,
to reach out to anyone, regardless of what you think of them…
when did the lines blur, where do you even draw the line?
why do you segregate and categorize everything
that could possibly relate to your life…

In the ancient halls stood a king, surveying the dishes
prepared for the royal serving… a mutinous youth
chopping the ingredients, wondering when the king would pass,
move on… the king surveyed the entire place, seeking a truth,
what magic were these people wielding,
that made all these nourishments so satisfying,
left him sleeping sweet dreams…
hovering over the steams, he thought of where the roots
in the ground were bound… to the center of all life,
whatever it may have been…
and the world consisted only of this singular castle,
the world consisted of the wonders in the kitchens,
and the feeling that seeped into them…
The flash of light makes the transportation quick and painless—
the king stands far away, in the early hours
an empty place, he seeks out the same room…
…demolished tastes, horrible waste… the feelings
completely disembodied, hovering, the king
is dismayed… all these people tightly controlling what goes on,
where these ingredients are bound, and where they came from…
each had a value that hovered ominously,
and not one bite of the food radiated any sort of loving…
the king thinks, “the Earth has abandoned us!”
the cherished parts are all gone…
the Earth has given up all hope,
because mankind sought to sever the bond…
…mankind won…
and pays the guilty price, as all pay
for the slaying and murder of one sentient being,
so this heavy weight sits on the necks of all born today…
the molecules spawn in the sublime,
the heavens are treacherously raining revenge,
for their mutilated souls, another one of man’s crimes…

…Somewhere in a field, I sit alone—
vision gone – there’s so much more left to know…
the mirror shows the disembodied smile still: but then
it fades… it submits to the gentle haze,
and all that is left is the body
shaking in rage… shaking from fear,
humiliation and pain…
all the while asking:
why… why did I ever come here…

October 31, 2007

Author's Location: Szeged, Hungary
More Poems: Widdershins has posted 234 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Widdershins - Click HERE
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