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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 14,833,827  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 29675


Posted: August 4th. 2007 1:56:40 PM

Views: 1417

And yes we still smell Lilacs.

by Pangur-ban

Age Group: Adult

The Christmas season was almost upon us again and I was dreading it, not for myself as I was a card carrying Christmas freak. The person I was dreading it for was my sister.
It all started nine months earlier with a phone call from Sue my sister.
We live in a sleepy seaside town called Weymouth (well it is sleepy most of the year except the summer when we are inundated with loads of visitors) but most of the time we have it to ourselves.
Anyway back to this phone call, as soon as the phone rang I knew it wasn’t going to be good news, and boy was I right. “John I need you” she began “I am at the hospital its Hannah she’s ill can you come”
Now I am single and Hannah is the nearest thing I have to a daughter. We have been close since her father died two years earlier in a car crash. All sorts of things were going through my mind as I drove the eight miles to the Hospital but nothing was as bad as the truth.
As soon as I saw the look on Sues face I knew it was bad” she has cancer John Sue said” and the world fell apart for me. But I had to be strong for both Sues and Hannah’s sake.
Walking into that hospital room with a smile on my face was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.” How are you kid” I said to Hannah, now there is one thing you need to know about this adopted daughter of mine and it’s she is twelve going on twenty, and hates being called kid. Her answer was typical Hannah “life sucks doesn’t it Uncle John” and in my heart I had to agree. There were the usual round of chemo therapy and the like but nothing worked and Hannah just got weaker and weaker. This went on for about six months, and then one day as I was sitting with her she said this amazing thing “its time uncle John”
A week later she was gone leaving this hole in our lives that was hard to fill, one thing you should know about Sue and I is that we are Pagans, so we know life never truly dies but at the time this did not help much.
And then the strange things started happening. It was about a week after the funeral, I had moved in with Sue as she really needed someone to be there. One morning a week after the funeral I was passing Hannah’s old room and smelt the heavy scent of Lilacs (Hannah’s favourite flower) I thought nothing of this at the time putting it down to the fact of Sue trying a new air freshener. Then I started seeing things. In the garden is an old swing hanging from the oak tree that stands in the corner. And on windless days it would be swinging as if someone had just got down from it. I knew that if my eyes were just a little quicker then I would see whoever it was, but in my heart I knew it was Hannah.
After a week or two of this having kept it to myself let’s face it how do you say to someone your Daughter is haunting us, I made up my mind to bring things to a head. So one morning after breakfast I went out into the garden and stood by the swing remembering the times that I had spent pushing Hannah whilst she laughed for joy. “I know you’re here Hannah” I said quietly but I need to know why. Then I felt a hand slip into mine and there was my Hannah stood by my side.” I don’t want to be here Uncle John but I cant leave Mum won’t let go of me, there is a wonderful place I want to go to, it is summer there and there are lots of people and animals and a man with antlers on his head, I somehow think he is very important there. And my old cat Tabitha is there to, but I am stuck between the two places neither here nor there”.
So the next day Sue and I took our coffees out into the garden, it was one of those lovely days that come out of the blue in the midst of winter, the sun was shining and you could almost believe that spring was just around the corner. While we were sitting there that lovely fragrance was there, “I smell lilacs John, Sue said” and there was Hannah again sitting by her mothers side. “Please let me go Mum, I am so lonely and I want to go and be where it is summer, I love you both so much but it is time for me to go” The tears were streaming down Sues face as she let go of Hannah’s hand and watched her slowly fade out of sight.
That’s when we started to heal, yes we missed her but now we could remember her with joy as well as sorrow, and so Christmas maybe won’t be so bad after all, and yes we still smell Lilacs.

Pangur ban 2007

Author's Notes: It says that this place is for poetry and prose. We do not see much prose here so I thought I woul post some.

Author's Location: weymouth, England
More Poems: Pangur-ban has posted 181 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Pangur-ban - Click HERE
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