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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,209,969  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 33683

Category:
humor

Posted: July 19th. 2008 3:10:39 PM

Views: 556

Les Sorcieres de la Loon... Lune

by Moonlight Wolf

Age Group: Adult



Welcome to Les Sorcieres de la Loon...Lune.
Please excuse the sign for One With The Fairies,
Known about as Dina
Was a little drunk in application and seems to have Forgotten how to spell french words.
Messenger of Athena, also known as Hazel, tried to set that right
But One With The Fairies did not want her sign ruining.

Les Sorciers de la Loon...Lune is held
In Messenger of Athena's shop.
Here there are only scholarly books, no Llewellyn
And certainly not Silver Ravenwolf or Fiona Horne.
If either one of those two authors come in
They go straight in the furnace.

Messenger of Athena opens the meeting
With a reminder of a lecture she is holding.
Maiden of Silence, who's real name is witheld,
For she fears that should anyone find out
About these meetings then she will surely
Face the worst persecution that she could ever imagine,
Asks why she does not get in a
NeoPagan author to do a lecture.
Messenger of Athena gives her standard reply.
"They just want the cash and publicity."

They begin the discussion with what kind of ritual
Would be appropriate for this time.

Voice of Nature or Daisy say as usual.
"Let's do a ritual to heal the planet.
Mother Nature needs all the help she can get
To sustain the animals that are her children."

"The planet will heal itself." Says One With The Fairies.
"It has a Lifestream to heal its wounds
When a threat is put up against it."
At this point the others tell her
She needs to stop playing Final Fantasy 7.

One With The Fairies suggests a spell
To help her lose some weight
And reach a UK size 4.
At size 10 no one will date her
Because she's too fat
Or so she says.

Sword of Diana, more often called Holly
Opens her mouth.
"Be not a slave to the vanities of men
For they create a mythical image of
What a woman should be
So that they become too obsessed
With the imperfections of their own bodies
To fight the men and reclaim their rightful place
As the heads of society."
She then rolls up her sleeves and shows off her tattoos,
One is the glyph of Venus
Only with sharp vicious teeth in the circle.
The other is the glyph of Mars
Only with the long arrow broken off.

Daughter of the Shadows, Ivy agrees.
"Men were never taught the Craft in our family,
For magick is the domain of women, not men."

Messenger of Athena is grounding herself
By putting her forehead to the table.
"Any other ideas?" She asks groaning.
"What about you Maiden of Silence?"

Maiden of Silence has not heard.
She covered her face with a book
To hide her face, just in case anyone who knows her
Happens to walk past and see her.
However the book she is using
Is actually very interesting.
Messenger of Athena snatches the book away
And Maiden of Silence ducks beneath the table.
"Is my flatmate out there?" She asks.

Messenger of Athena decides that
It is probably better to set up a discussion
Rather than do a ritual.

"We shall discuss the Kabbala." She begins.
One With The Fairies asks what that is.
Maiden of Silence quietly begins to explain
The ten Sephiroth.

"Ten One Winged Angels!" One with the Fairies
cries.
"We are all dooooooooooooooooomed."
At this point they tell her that she really needs
Stop playing Final Fantasy 7.

"You really shouldn't play so many video games."
Daughter of the Shadows says.
"Too many of them put out a
Saccharine worldview where
Light is goodness and dark is evil.
Those who live in a light fantastic world
Are living in La La Land."

"I agree." Say both Messenger of Athena
And Maiden of Silence,
Although the latter's voice is smothered,
She's found another book to hide behind.

"Those who think that NeoPaganism
Is all sugar and sweetness
Need to get the hell out.
Into the furnace with those books
That say that we are all about
Sprinkling fairy dust to make wishes comes true."
Messenger of Athena's nostrils are flaring.

"Light and dark are like Yin and Yang."
Begins Maiden of Silence.
"They need to be in balance."
However before she can go further she
Hides under the table again.
"Was that my mother?" She asks,
Referring to the woman who just
Passed the shop.

One with the Fairies mutters
About how Messenger of Athena
Has just insulted her people,
Before noticing that one of her hair extensions
Has fallen off.

Voice of Nature lets out a cry.
"How can you wear those awful extensions,
The hair that some poor Russian girl once had
Yet had to cut off for a few measly quid,
Hardly enough to support herself"

One with the Fairies scoffs.
"You're Voice of Nature not Voice of the Poverty Striken."
She continues to stroke her extension.
Voice of Nature bursts into tears.

"Every day there are people starving
Living in dire poverty
Working for a paltry wage
Just so you can wear some cheap designer."
She says, before realising she is wearing
A shirt that came from Primark
And tearing it off.

Messenger of Athena clears her throat
To try and calm everyone.
She rubs her head,
She has been grounding it on the table again.

"Can we please focus?
We tried to do a ritual but no one focused
We tried to do a little learning but no one focused
What can we do?"

Daughter of the Shadows speaks up.
"When my grandmother was around
I would never have interrupted a lesson
Because it would have affected my development
As a Witch, and it was the same with my mother.
Too bad they are both dead now
But their teaching of me made me so much better
Because it gave me the head start
That the rest of you were
Just not fortunate enough to have."

Sword of Diana groans
"Family is a model of male chauvanism
Because everyone is forced to follow around after
The man of the house.
Any woman who is married or
In a relationship with a man
Is accepting patriarchy into their lives
And they invite abuse towards them
Because it is man's nature to control woman
Thus we do not need them in our lives at all.
Families are shaped by patriarchy
Even those with Witches in them
So Daughter of the Shadows
You are actually worse off than us
Because you learned your Craft
In a patriarchal environment."

Daughter of the Shadows does not agree
But she keep quiet.
Sword of Diana getting cross is much worse than
One With The Fairies, Messenger of Athena or
Voice of Nature getting cross.

Messenger of Athena holds her hand up.
"We should end this.
Please stop and buy something before leaving
For you will become a much better NeoPagan
If you do so.
Other shops sell trash books on the subject
That is an insult to the intelligence of
NeoPagans everywhere.
I guarantee I have read all these books
So I know which ones are best for whom.
Voice of Nature you can buy..."
She stops to see the place empty.

The meeting of
Les Sorcieres de la Loon...Lune
Has now ended.

Messenger of Athena tried to educate
And tried to sell some NeoPagan items.

Voice of Nature muttered about
How Messenger Athena was wrong
Because her books were not printed on recycled paper
And how wrong it was to profiteer from religion

One With The Fairies went home
To play some Final Fantasy 7.

Maiden of Silence refused top disclose
Where she was going
In case anyone recognised her.

Daughter of the Shadows went home
To respect her family
However they are.

Sword of Diana decided that
It was time to beat up some men at the pub.




Author's Notes: Yes this is heavily exaggerated and yes the characters are idiots. Yes the Sephiroth joke was predictable and yes I am poking fun. No malice intended. Any names in the text are made up by me. Matchings of names to real people is purely coincidential.

Apart from the Final Fantasy references the others are Angela Carter's 'The Passion of New Eve' (Sword of Diana's tattoos) and Panorama's look into child slave labour that goes into clothing that is sold cheaply at Primark.


Author's Location: Bradford, England
More Poems: Moonlight Wolf has posted 100 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Moonlight Wolf - Click HERE
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