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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 13,711,595  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 40854


Posted: August 22nd. 2011 10:55:47 AM

Views: 667

Thanksgiving for Roast Beef

by Cyclop

Age Group: Adult

We call upon the spirit of our brother the Ox.

The Gods have decreed that the Ox shall spend all of his day eating grass and chewing the cud, that we might, by slaughtering him and eating his flesh, have the time to stand up, use our hands, develop our brains and glorify the works of the Gods.

We call upon the spirit of our brother the Ox and ask his forgiveness in obeying the divine directive, which made us who we are. For even in his death throes our brother’s spirit understands that great purpose, and we have learnt to cause him no more pain than is needed.

The Gods shall have their portion, and we shall not waste his substance. We shall use his horns to make spoons and cups, his hide to make shoes and clothing, his guts and blood to make sausages, his bones, after we’ve cracked them for the marrow, and hooves to make glue, and we shall dry out his peasle to make a walking stick.

Let us feast that we might live, and, glorify the works of the Gods, for our brother the Ox has not died in vain!

All present:
The Ox has not died in vain.

Author's Notes: Especially for the Commie Pinko Fellow Travelers amongst us (sorry, slip of the tounge, I meant the vegitarians!)

The most important development in prehuman history was when Homo-Robustus stopped spending his whole day gathering and chomping fruit and veg, and delegated that task to the herbivores, killed and ate them in turn. Our ancestors lost their caecum which had been used to digest cellulose leaving only a vestigial appendix, and lost the big molars they had needed for constant chewing every waking hour of the day.

Eating meat gave us the additional protein we needed to develop our big "human" brain. We stood up, looked around us, became self-aware, made tools and invented god!

And we wouldn't have done any of that if we had not added bloody steak to our diet!

Author's Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland
More Poems: Cyclop has posted 11 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Cyclop - Click HERE
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