Page: Profile: Poetry
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VxPoem ID: 45936
Posted: June 29th. 2015 5:54:04 PM
by Gwydion Ap Alder
Age Group: Adult
I think that I am invisible or at very least incredibly un-noticeable
It’s not that I am at all small or meek or even non-descript in nature
It’s just that I seem to appear or more accurately disappear and not draw attention
I feel invisible, like I am standing apart, outside the world just gazing in
Like a tourist at Sea World tapping on the glass to see the fish dart about
This phenomenon has had me puzzled for a while now, this being invisible
But I think I’ve it figured out, in part, mostly I think…well.. Likely I have, perhaps
I am this way because I feel unworthy, un-loveable, and so I’ve become un-visible
Not so sure where I acquired the sense of unworthiness and un-loveable-ness
But I do know that it was me that decided to become invisible, it was a conscious choice
A really bad, ill-conceived, poorly-made and all around stupid choice but my choice nonetheless
Sadly it worked too, because while invisible, I cannot be hurt for no one engages with me
While invisible, I’m apart, held above the wrack and tumult that is human relationship
But I’m alone.
Being invisible is safe but it is empty, being invisible is safe, but it is
So very lonely.
Invisible…. I no longer desire to be, but I am unsure just how to become visible once again
And I am afraid, what if when people see me they don’t like me? What if I’m really un-loveable?
Needs unmet, heart tight with constant pain, invisible is so not what I want to be any longer
I am so afraid, clumsy, socially inept, all those things I’ve been labeled as being,
If by no one by myself.
How does one become visible again and not startle everyone with strangeness?
That is a thing I really do not know…. But, I do know it begins with a choice.
Author's Notes: This is how I used to feel... This is the path my wounds led me to walk and accept until I finally realized that the choice to be me, to be true to my core, to be BIG was always mine to make. I had outsourced my power for far too long but now I choose and I walk as my true self, free from the chains of others expectations and conventions.
Free to be Gwydion!! ) O (
Blessed Be... May Harmony Find You !!!
Author's Location: Prescott, Arizona
More Poems: Gwydion Ap Alder has posted 76 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Gwydion Ap Alder - Click HERE
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