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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,686,011  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 34214

Category:
humor

Posted: September 23rd. 2008 7:01:52 PM

Views: 985

Paddy Malone

by Ed Novem Grey

Age Group: Adult



There once was drunkard, a stranger I’m told
To the ways of the sober, ol’ Paddy Malone
He’d carry on, and shout, and shirk all the work
(In whiskey stained pants and slovenly shirts)
At old Nigel’s pub, who took such a pity
On his aged war buddy who now toured the city
With a glass or a pint of ill gotten drink
Even rats did run from his powerful stink

Now it came to pass, as it should and it did
Old Nigel fell ill, and as well, the coffin lid
And young Nigel took the flowing pub for his own
You can guess what happened to ol’ Paddy Malone
“Out!” yelled Nigel, “No more will you stink!”
“Ya never pay rent and ya piss in the sink”
Paddy just stumbled glassy-eyed to the door
“Friends should be what me friends are for”

He stumbled and muttered his way out of town
Upside the hillside of the old barrow mound
And falling topside of the curvaceous slant
He wept to the stars and began to lament
On troubles and trials and how it was not fair
To deprive him of drink, this child of no care.

A bustle, a rustle, something crawling quite near
Paddy jumped to his feet and cried quite sincere
“I don’t believe in ya fairies or ghosts hereabout!”
“So run off you, before I can give ya a bout”
But then in a tinkle, a shimmer of blue
Came the voice, “But Paddy…we believe in you!”

And Paddy did run, he did trip and did fall
Into the largest hole that he’d seen of them all
And tumbling down, past the roots and the rocks
He hit the bottom with one hell of a shock
Then swayingly he gazed in the dim, dim view
And promptly passed out from his cups of the dew

Now Paddy did ache, his head and his pride
And barely remembered something was hillside
“Unless it was me” he thought in a haze
Then dimly viewed a hoary fey blaze
“Ya will o’ the wisps, ya won’t eat me yet”
He seemed to whimper, thinking the table was set
But the voice sang out, “Paddy you stink too grand”
“For us to eat you, you large, large man”

“Then whatever do you want?” Paddy did cry
And tears rolled down as ghostly figures drew by
“Merely to see what you have inside…”
“I’ll take the head!”
“I want the eyes!”
They laughed and they snickered
…and Paddy just cried

Here may end the tale of poor Paddy Malone
For what happened below is untold and unknown
Most did not wonder, in fact, most were content
Free from his drinking, stinking, and sorry lament
But the children do say, they whisper it ‘round
That one should not cross the Fairies of the Mound




Author's Notes: July 2008


Author's Location: Davis, California
More Poems: Ed Novem Grey has posted 18 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Ed Novem Grey - Click HERE
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