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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,870,213  



Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 7501

Category:
healing

Posted: November 16th. 2004 2:26:20 PM

Views: 1704

endfire

by darkling

Age Group: Adult



I took birdhouses
White picket fences
Piled them high on the Sacred Hill
For kindling I used
Any card from her
I could find
My name spelled
Wrong on them all
And . . .
Well, some gasoline
(But just a little)
And I lit that bed of lies
Burned the mattress
With all those dirty little corners of truth 

I set to burning the sacrificial pyre
By Circle, Star and Stone conjure endfire
In this flame I burn the rotting corpse
That was my Romanticism
I rid myself of the dry and brittle bones
Of my murdered belief in ‘US’
Anything that smelled like dead trust
Or living lies
I surrender even the festering corruption
That once was my treasured love for her 

I spent the loneliest days of my life
During our togetherness
I watched my most cherished parts
Sicken and die
And when I forgot I was to blame
She helped me to remember
I lived that way
Until I could no longer stand the stench
Of life that rots or death that lives
Let the flame take all she left behind
My thoughts of her eyes
Her smiling lies
And the truth that lives like poison in me 

From the distance I thought I heard screaming
From far away darkness I heard myself screaming 

Tiny azure fires spring up dancing on my arms
My hair bursts blue flaming
The death in me begins to burn
And I do not shed a tear

I watch the sparks of my Past
Rise up in red glowing swarms
That dance against the night
Tumbling and twirling with the wind blown ashes
Of my every illusion
And the free floating feathers of soot
That were once fragile cobwebs of reasons
I had searched so long for myself
In the darkening embrace of someone else 

A hot yellow finger reaches from the pyre
Offering a caress of blisters
And whispers
Promises of Pain so perfect
That Past and Future both vanish
Lost in the shrieking white hot agony of Now 

My blue burning body begins to flicker
I feel my new emptiness as the flames fade
Voids left where dead parts burned away
Ragged holes that would be slow to heal
That would ache to heal
Wounds that might throb forever
Even under the scars

I stagger back
And under my scorched clothing
My skin glows bright blister red 

Blue flame flares twisting writhing
Hotter growing bigger like an alive thing

I watch flame swallow
The frozen body of the Past
Consume the Past
With a tremendous eruption of endfire
A singular pulse scattering echoes
Across all Tomorrows
Changing the Darkness to forever bright nights
Making the old light shine in new ways
Golden warm upon the ManyPaths
Into all those glowing Tomorrows 

I lay in the dirt on the Sacred Hill
As the pulse Dopplers out of DreamSpace
Cool darkness flashes hot white
It surrounds the Earth in brilliance
Explodes into a spherical wave-front
Becoming brighter and more dense
The mutating Earth its central point 

The shifting reality expands
Outbound at the speed of light
The final brilliant seconds reveal a stark sterile world
Still reconstructing under the pulse-wave
Of harsh light changing light

In the bones of my head
I hear/feel the song of creation
My feet feel/hear unfamiliar vibration
As the planet resonates in kind
Rising until a bright blue spark
Leaps from dark into sizzles of giggles
Zig zag jagged to my chest
Dancing snapping buzzing across
Diffusing into a steady blue glow
That apparently radiates from me
I realize I am blazing again
Alive with glowing endfire's new shape
Unstable shifting in the still evolving light

Inside me the heat builds glows grows
Combustion begins in my stomach
I blossom into a sphere of blue electric fire
That in moments burns away all that I was
Leaving nothing behind but what I am
And a glowing echo pulsing deep within the darkness  

I did not look back as I walked from that place
My Anger lurking in the shadows
Pacing me
The Wolf that guards my heart still
So that sadness might ripen to wisdom
And out of the ashes and exhaustion
I might find the beginnings
Of new faith and the strength to live it true  

I am Intent
I shall never walk that hill again
I am Spirit
I go forward and I do not end

9/8/1997
perris




Author's Location: Moreno Valley, California
More Poems: darkling has posted 34 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about darkling - Click HERE
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