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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,828,582  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 25521

Category:
humor

Posted: November 11th. 2006 12:36:43 AM

Views: 1255

Letter...To Ms. Cyndarella III......

by Ladykelshan

Age Group: Adult



Letter…To Ms. Cyndarella III
From The Former Princess of
“HappyLand”.

Dear Cyndarella III,
This is what happened since I have
Chatted with you, the last time,
And since I have moved
Away!…I decided to
Write it the way that I remembered
It! LOL!
Bear with me, please!

“Why did you have to marry THIS slug?!!”
asked my mother.
“The Slug” that she was referring
to was my soon to be, ( at the time)
“ex-hubby” the” Prince of
Happy Land”…where everything was
“supposedly happy”
and nobody ever complained!…
{well, they didn’t in front of you,
But the moment your back was
Turned…Watch Out! Everybody
Became fair game!}

But, I did grow up in another
Place, and met my hubby via
The internet (which is how most
Meet in faery tales, now-a-days!
I met him, if you can recall,
in a writers chat room.
He was a writer , who wrote
t.v. sitcoms about life as it
might have been, in Happy
Land…He used to be a very
Clever, and funny writer!
But, now, “The Slug” as my
Mother and I secretly
Named him,
would be watching
Beavis And Butthead
all day long,
Never moving,
and smoking
His cigars,
would only lean over
To pick up the potato
Chips, off the floor
that he spilled, to
Pop them back in his mouth!

Anyhow, my mother
had asked me,
“Well? Why?!!!”
She asked me again, with some
Impatience.
“What do you get
When you cross an elephant
With a Rhino?” I asked her.
She 'd looked at me, perlexed
”Look indulge me,
just once, please?”
I 'd said to her.
( She was frowning at me! Lol!)
“ Try to answer this, I promise
You WILL get an answer!
”I 'd said, looking back at her
“I don’t know!
So what is the answer?!”
She 'd said, again impatiently.
“He** If I know!”
“So what was the answer
to my question?!”
She asked again…
“Both!” I 'd answered,
laughing.
Wasn’t that a good one?
It did answer your
question! Did it not?!!”
I 'd asked back,
laughing and looking at her.
She'd rolled her eyes
at my bad attempt
of that old lame joke!

“Well, tell “the Slug” to
move his disgusting feet off of
the clean laundry!” she said,
wrinkling up her nose.
”Hey, P. O’. H. (POE) , I’d called
him, (Prince of Happy)
move your “darty feet!’ I’d said
in my best Irish accent.
“You move them, since that ‘ll
make YOU happiest!” he would
grumble, as he’d stuffed his
face with MORe chips, , and
dribbled more Cola down the
front of his dirty pleated white
button down shirt..Then he’d
let out a loud
belch, which made my mother
wince even more…

Well, I’d moved my laundry
But not his…and stepped
Carefully over the mounds of
Candy wrappers and food
That was ingrained in the carpet!
I’d whistled for my mom to
Follow me..as I headed up stairs..
I ‘d packed my last suitcase,
And then got every last
Thing out of “our home” and
Took off with my mother,
in my “heli-van”…and flown to
A castle in the sky…

(I have an uncle who lives
in the sky, and he told me
anytime to come on over,
and make myself at home!)
So my mother and I ‘d said
Hey!That's fine by us!”
and we readily
moved in. My uncle has
one adopted son…name’s
Jack.. maybe you’ve
of him? He married Jack’s
Mom, and they manage a
bean farm and have been
happy ever since!!!..and I do
mean Really happy! LOL!

You know what?!?
“ The Slug” never seemed to
Take notice when my mom
And I had left, and he didn’t notice
What he had signed, …when the
Divorce decree notices came to
His door…he just thought that
He was signing for the mail!!!
LOL! How idiotic!…
Trust me…his eyes had been
“well glazed over” for years!
He’s related to the emperor
That went outside parading
Around town
with his "new clothes "
that he “thought that he had
On”, but ever actually did!
They are cousins…by blood!
But, now my mother and
I are free…new life,
No Slug!

To further update y’all,
I ‘ve been attending college
And working on writing..
Mostly short funny stories..
And a tad bit of poetry!
My mother has been
dating a really nice
person!!…He is related to
The Five Beloved Chinese
Brothers…and he can do all
Of the feats that they could do, as
Well as tell wonderful stories,
And act on stage..and do
Some Shakespeare as well!
He’s not only a wonderful
Man to have at your home, but
He’s quite a chef too!
My mother and he,
Have been planning
on opening their own
restaurant…they found a
Fantastic deserted castle
“down below” and have
been renovating it now!

The Castle used to belong
To Rapunzels’ family…,
You remember her?Well,
They moved away to Russia..
And my mom ,
and her sweetie
got it real cheap!
I can hardly wait to feast
At the new restaurant..
As my mom’s friend
Is such a great person to
Not only dine with, but,
When you sit and dine
With him and my mother,
They have such great stories
At the dinner table!!
I hope that you can come
One day to meet him,
And to try his best dishes!
It will be an honor.

Well, that’s enough for now,
I hope that all is well, on your
Side of the Valley…
I’ll let you know
The name of the new
Restaurant,
and the other details,
When I know for sure!
Love,
“The former Princess
of HappyLand”
LOL!




Author's Notes: By ladykelshan
Written Friday, November 10th, 2006


Author's Location: Washington, Washington DC
More Poems: Ladykelshan has posted 485 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Ladykelshan - Click HERE
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