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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,992,871  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 27013

Category:
humor

Posted: February 19th. 2007 6:47:11 AM

Views: 2650

18 Ways to Piss Off a Pagan!/& joke!

by Ladykelshan

Age Group: Adult



Be considerate: Rearrange their altar so it looks neat.

Blow out their altar candle if it is daylight.
(no need to waste a good candle) .

Sweep up the salt they carelessly left at the doorway.

Sharpen their Athame.

Untie the knot in their cords.

Try on their jewelry for fashion sense.

Pick up their crystals for a closer look.

See how far their crystal ball will roll (dogs love this) .

Use their runes as extra Dominoes.

Play "Old Maid" with their Tarot cards.

Toss holy water on them "just to see what happens"

Ask them if they are a good witch or a bad witch.

Debate with them about "True Religion".

Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.

Tell them how the bible says they are going to hell, then ask if they can make you a love potion.

Point to their pentacle necklace, almost touching it, and say "isn't that supposed to be point down?"

Refer to a business meeting as "a come to Jesus" meeting.

Leave Chick Publication tracts lying about the break rooms & on their desk.

****************************************************************

Once upon a time,
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
~~~~~~~~
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat,
~~~~~~~~
contemplating ecological issues
~~~~~~~~
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
~~~~~~~~
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
~~~~~~~~
and said: Elegant Lady,
~~~~~~~~
I was once a handsome prince,
~~~~~~~~
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
~~~~~~~~
and I will turn back
~~~~~~~~
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever
~~~~~~~~
feel grateful and happy doing so.
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sautéed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't ***ing think so.




Author's Notes: Posted by ladyk
February, 19th Monday, 2007

I got this from another person online....was just very funny!

the joke was a new send in! LOL!


Author's Location: Washington, Washington DC
More Poems: Ladykelshan has posted 485 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Ladykelshan - Click HERE
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