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VxPoem ID: 36705
Posted: August 19th. 2009 4:00:40 AM
When I Was Younger (Dealing with Trich')
Age Group: Adult
When I was younger..I had this thing..that began..and it is still with me...I started in 6th grade..thereabout..and I never seemed to be able to stop. I have a thing called Trichotilliamania..I may have written about it here before..
I just found a great website..which I will post & share with all of you (or if you know of people like this..please share it with them!!)
But, anyways..instead of a poem..I want to just write about ME here..I am NOT my "affliction from Hell-oooo" as I call it! Nope!
I am a very senstive soul...who has UNfortunately gone thru Hell to get to learning about, and dealing with this "condition" that I guess that I have been born with!!
"Trich" is a condition that is caused by a "chemical imbalance" or what the doctors believe to be a chemical imbalance. It's also a painful thing to have ...it takes away your childhood, your love of life, your friendships, your way of living, and so much more... (partially if you let it run your life..and if you keep hiding as well, ) It really can ruin your life , though!
I have had this since I was in 6th grade..but, it grew much worse in high school...and from then on.
What Trich' is, is "hair pulling."
I am an eyelash puller and also an eyebrow puller..I pick and pluck and pull the hairs out! It's soooo embarrassing! I cannot emphasize this MORE!!!
Trust me on this..I kid you not!!
I gew up with people "whispering"" thoughts and staring at me..all of the time...I had to constantly lie to people about it..I never wanted anybody to know the truth..and yet..at the same time..I did!
I still feel that way at times...it happened recently at a beach I was visiting..I have a hard time being in a public area...and having NO hair.! I get super embarrassed , super fast! I hate people talking about me behind my back..as if they think that I am so stupid that I could NOT possibly hear them at all!
Think again! It's similar to people staring down a blind person or a disabled person...and judging them!!
It's similar to perhaps a person secretly saying to another "That person's weird, because they are a WITCH!!!" (Man! I have soooo been there too!!!) (and on both sides..before I had gotten more interested in the subject!!!)
I wanted to share..because I am trying to quit my "condition"..I am inspired by that new show on A&E called "Obsessed." It helps others to get over compulsions, and obsessions..and other odd behaviors...it helps them to "open up" and DEAL with their issues...I have learned a few ways to deal with my issues from this particular show..I think that I hopefully "Might " be able to end it...I hope, I sure do hope!!! I have struggled and struggled with this horrible thing..it has totally hurt my life tremendously!
I really did NOT know a lot of people with it..but, now, since joining this cool group online..it has helped others.. (from what I had to share) and they have helped me and are still inspiring me to keep right on believing in bettering myself!!!
If you are a person that pulls your hair.. (on your head, eyelashes, eyebrows, arms, legs..etc..) this online site is awesome!
Cheryn Salazar started this site..and personally, she is totally amazing..and to me, has a LOT of UMPH to be able to share this with the whole world...It is a condition that makes you so UNcomfortable..because nobody understands why we do what we do!!! Families and friends will turn on you..because of this stupid affliction.
I have had hard stares..and loud whispers..and hateful remarks..and other things said in my direction for "my benefit" and people and kids have asked me "Why don't you have any eyebrows?" and some people have been super rude about it.. I USED to lie to people..I honestly felt that it was NONE of their business..because it isn't, when you actually think about it..but, people are too damn curious and they cannot sit still, and they will just flat out ask you!! I have had my own family treat me strangely.. (step-family who mean well, but, then again..are repulsed or afraid of what I do to myself..because frankly , yeah, it;s a strange thing to do to one self!
But, it hurts..and it takes nearly a lifetime to "get over it!!"
It really does take a toll on us all!!
I would love to one day..just go without makeup and wear the "baldness" of my face in public and NOT be afraid to be me anymore!!! I would love to be FREE!!!!
OUR society is soooooo judgemental..and hey..I am going to admit , that I have been like this as well...I have been "deeply programed" by what is around me!! UGH!!!
Well, anyhow, you get the picture, right?!!!?
I just mainly wanted to share a smidge about moi'' !!!!
I truly hope that one day..we will NOT ever be seen as "so odd, so strange, so gross, and more!!!!:"
To those out there who have this "Affliction from Hell--ooo!" I care about you..and HUGS to you all!!!
Peace, love and light!!!
Author's Notes: Wednesday August 19th, 2009
Written by ladykelshan/Julie Katz-O'Neill
I really wanted to share and open up about an issue that affects 6 to 8 million people in the U.S. alone! I hope that this MIGHT help somebody else like it is helping me now!!!
Please check out this site (I will post it again!) :
also there is a Trichotilliamania Learning Center
and also at http://www.trich.org
You may even be able to find other online sites, regarding this as well!!!
If I see more..I will post them!!!
P.S. and a VERY special thank you to a certain Mandi Line..who unbeknownst to her..has probably inspired if not helped so many of us "Trichsters" out in the world..by her just being interviewed and sharing about her hair pulling..you are a brave woman..and human being..to open your mind, soul and heart on national t.v.!
I only wish that they had had some type of group when I was growing up..it was so difficult having this condtion..and NOBODY understood at all! Absolutely NOBODY!!!
Thank you so much!!! and thank you also, to Cheryn Salazar for her fantastic web site http://www.trichworld.com
you are helping a LOT of people in the world..thank you!!!
Author's Location: Washington, Washington DC
More Poems: Ladykelshan has posted 485 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Ladykelshan - Click HERE
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