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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 12,142,444  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 15247


Posted: August 15th. 2005 12:12:05 PM

Views: 1468


by Shawnee

Age Group: Adult

Invisible hands pull from the inside
Heart racing, quick shallow breaths
A lump of nausea stuck in my throat
Dry mouth, damp palms
There is no monster under the bed
There is only the monstrous pain inside
And the fear of feeling it all

Invisible predator lurking in the grass
I am the weak prey, alone in the field
It sits back, listening to the drumming of my heart
Patiently plotting its attack
Waiting for the ever-present tension to leave my body
To take advantage of my vulnerability
To burn it’s path and wreak it’s havoc

Is it my fear that keeps it sated?
Or is it my fear that invites it back?
Did you enter when my guard was down?
Or were you already there when I put my guard up?

Too tired to fight it anymore
Neck bared, hands held behind my back
Hoping the end would be a sweet surrender
Or at least a welcome escape
Then I realize that “better” feels like “nothing”
An empty, absent numbness
And this is more terrifying than anything else

Where was I when all this happened?
Sleepwalking the dark recesses of my mind
Asleep at the wheel, crashing into others
Their wreckage becoming a part of mine
Leaving skid marks in their minds as well
Now startled to alertness, eyes flashing open
I sit straight up and realize I am not in my bed

This nightmare is real
This nightmare is my life
And the most frightening of my experiences
Is that now I am awake

May 9, 2005

Author's Location: Land O' Lakes, Florida
More Poems: Shawnee has posted 49 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Shawnee - Click HERE
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