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Page: Profile: Poetry
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Poem Specs
VxPoem ID: 32535
Category:
personal_life
Posted: April 1st. 2008 7:36:10 PM
Views: 456 |
Rantings of an Insane Person
by SilverAngelFire
Age Group: Adult
Rantings of an Insane Person
Why are things never just because
Does there always have to be a reason
Of course there does
I guess I should know that by now
Like when you start writing things about self-deception
Or the all knowing universe
Don’t you think that there should be some sort of fair warning
Like, “helllooooo, this is the universe speaking
This is not a line in your poem Noel, this is happening now
No really, pay attention, it’s coming”
It’s never that easy is it
Not when you’re seeing for yourself
Especially when you’re trying not to see
Take for instance someone who goes completely out of their way
I mean, 100% out of their way to be completely oblivious to what someone else is doing
You don’t see or hear or know anything, just blind
Kind of like you cut yourself off just to try and make things better for everyone
Then one day for no apparent reason, you begin again
You write or sing or whatever it is you do
So you think, this is great I’m getting to be me again
But at the same time you start to sense you have just been thrown head first onto an emotional coaster
And as the hours pass, it only gets stronger and stronger until the energy passing through you becomes almost unbearable
You don’t know why, there’s no rhyme or reason to it
It just is
Then, BAM, it’s like a bullet roaring through your body and you just freeze
When someone, anyone says “oh by the way, did you happen to see on Saturday”
No, I didn’t see, I don’t see, I go out of my way not to see
Sure enough, it then all makes complete and utter moronic sense
So basically, you pretend like you don’t care
In fact, you can pretend until the cows come home, from wherever it is someone has tossed them to, but it won’t matter
Because the minute that person, or thing, whatever it is comes within 10 miles of you, somewhere deep down your spirit knows
It just knows
And all the ignorance in the world, and all the lies you tell yourself will never change your truth
It is a terrifying realization that knocks you back about 3 feet just before it drags you full steam ahead
Well, at least it finally explains part of a dream I had once
Anyway, I’m not sure it makes a difference after all this time
Though I can’t help but wonder
How, can you be so connected to something or someone without one coherent reason why
I don’t think I’ll ever have an answer to that
Would it even matter
My first clue should have been when the thoughts started creeping in
When found myself searching for that one picture that obliterates my defenses
I should’ve know, I should have done something, anything
Shielded, I should have shielded, but I didn’t know, didn’t think
I’m not sure which is worse, knowing or not knowing
If this wasn’t so ridiculously heart wrenching, it would all be quite comical
In fact, I think that if I were not blessed with the support system I have
I think I would be sitting somewhere in a corner, rocking back and forth, spitting on myself by now
SilverAngelFire2008
Author's Notes: I had an experience this past weekend that I didn't realize I was having until today.
Author's Location: Coral Springs, Florida
More Poems: SilverAngelFire has posted 192 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about SilverAngelFire - Click HERE
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