Page: Profile: Poetry
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VxPoem ID: 38027
Posted: April 4th. 2010 10:58:15 PM
Sometimes I Forget
Age Group: Adult
Sometimes I Forget
For a minute
I forget sometimes
I am not who I used to be
But never worry
Reality is always there
Reminding me that I cannot compete
And that ‘s fine I guess
It is what it is
Maybe I really am just insane
I can handle anything my Goddess shall put before me
I am strong, I know I am
But if I am crazy
Then that would mean only one thing
That one single truth in my life
That one truth that’s always right there beside me
Guiding me, believing in me
Well that too would be gone
Some craziness made up in my mind
Still, as crazy as it may be
It is that one single truth
I could not bear the thought of losing
Author's Notes: I was obviously not in a great place when I wrote this last night. I just get to that point where I lose belief in myself and I tend to close myself off. So I needed to come back and write a few notes just to remind myself later on that in my life nothing is ever black and white and everything happens for a reason.
Anyway, there have been two people in my life closer to me than anyone has ever been and have always been there through my darkest hours...One was my best friend back in high school who I haven't spoken to in about a year or seen in about 17. When I was a teenager and lost my Mom he was my absolute strength. It didn't matter when or where or why. He was always there.
The other came along right about when I hit my 30's and though he's no longer with us, he is still the only person who can always bring me back to where I need to be. Even by just the thought of his energy around me. Just knowing what he would be saying to me if he were there is usually enough and just like the other, he is always there no matter what.
The funny thing is that not only were these two my closest and dearest friends who I met decades apart from each other and who for either I would give my life to support and protect, but they both share the same birthday. I always found that ironic. Silly I know but it just makes me laugh.
So there I was when I went to sleep last night thinking that's it. I can't do anymore. I'm so tired and I'm just done. I closed myself off and just refused to listen to that voice inside me. I didn't want to hear or feel or anything because I thought what does it matter. I could see him my minds eye too, the latter one, all frustrated saying "fine you don't wanna listen, we'll just see. I don't know what it's gonna be yet, but I'll think of something!"
As it usually happens fate was not going to let me off that easily. If I wasn't going to listen to one well then I sure as hell better listen to the other and with absolute impeccable timing at 2 am this morning I got a text message from the first one just to say hi. I had to just giggle for a minute but I guess it was much needed.
And with that, the only thing I can add is that as much as I would like to believe sometimes that I'm just completely out of my mind if for nothing else but to at least have a plausible answer to the events in my life, I'm really not
and I just really need to stop worrying so much about what other people think.
Well I guess I should say thank you to anyone who made it through this endless babbling of mine.
Author's Location: North Lauderdale, Florida
More Poems: SilverAngelFire has posted 451 additional poems- View them?
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