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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 16,701,601  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 37789


Posted: February 24th. 2010 9:55:43 PM

Views: 2028

Mirage of Love

by Azurite Phox

Age Group: Adult

I don’t want to…
Say his name no more!
Oh God!
Please erase his memory from my mind
How could someone I cared about so much
And loved so deeply…
How did I allow him?
All my positive attributes were leeched
Why did I…so determined I was
He had no good!
Life feels more bitter now
And yet the world still spins
All I knew of myself
Long forgotten in that one moment
I gave my heart entirely to him
My essence is no longer purple
But my spirit is still hemorrhaging
I should’ve mustered all my strength
To have crushed his neck between my bare hands
I regret all the times he’d strike
And I’d allow myself to crumble
Like the World Trade Center
My own weakness subjected to his inane cruelty
And those close eyes sear the blame
In my conscience, it rests
It seems as though I’ve failed
And time stands still
I’m forever haunted by his vicious image
And the re-occurring nightmares we shared…

Author's Notes: Wrote this on Jan. 24, 2010
This poem is about my ex-boyfriend. We just recently broke up in the beginning of December, 2009 after 14 1/2 months (September, 2008) . He was the longest relationship I ever had and he was the oldest (6 years older) . There are plenty of men from my "rez" who behave the way he did. He was a dependent alcoholic and he would beat me whenever he had the chance and he would also "go out" on me A LOT! It was hard to leave that relationship, especially after November, 2008- the very first time he laid a hand on me. I felt I loved him very much and to this day, I still care about him and miss "the good times". But my friends and family helped show me that it still wasn't worth it, especially since our relationship was outweighed by the bad. I've doing so much better with school along with my soical and personal life since I finally left him

Author's Location: Grand Forks, North Dakota
More Poems: Azurite Phox has posted 38 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Azurite Phox - Click HERE
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