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Page: Profile: Poetry
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Poem Specs
VxPoem ID: 9177
Category:
healing
Posted: February 2nd. 2005 9:48:40 PM
Views: 1139 |
paradox
by reikilover
Age Group: Adult
We are a paradox
On one side, our love is timeless
on the other, unattainable
You have grasped me
just by the tendrils of emotion
and I am dangling unanimated
until you bring me to life again
I have stood for all time
at the place next to yours
I have looked on your countenance
through many portals
I have seen the light of your soul
through the depth of your eyes
I would know you anywhere
and I long to hold you close
I feel the hurt you have
mingled with mine like teardrops
falling in a pool near my heart
sometimes it overflows
and I think relief is near
but it is as elusive
as our path to each other has become
what will I have to do to find you?
Or will will you come to me
in my darkest hour
just when I think all hope is past?
you are my fire, my wind, my rain
you are my earth, my sky, my home
you are my heart, my soul, my dream
you are my love
you are my world
Written by a long lost soulmate
Author's Notes: The note above was from another soul mate who tried to help me ....I scared her off...It seems like she was doing her best to help me through the healing...She said that I was very needy and nerdy....Her mother noted how much her daughter looked like Alene when she saw a painting of her. I didn't think so!
her mother obviously didn't think that I was right for her daughter to marry : ( ....the relationship ended after the mother's visit and a very emotional argument with her daughter...somehow I think that she might be reading this hoping that she might forgive me and maybe one day, we can at least be friends?
I know that I still have much healing to do ....that is why I write so much to help...The author of the above poem wanted me to read "The Artist's way" as a way to release our creativity...In the book we are told to write 3 morning pages everyday... She kept a beautiful journal for us to share and I often go back to it and read selections almost as if she is talking to me with the deep understanding that I think she had for me...
Alene was diagnosed by the coroner with pericariditis a couple of months after she went to the other side. It is 10 years and a little over a month since she had passed out in our bedroom. We were watching an episode of the "Simpsons" where Lisa develops puppy love for her substitute teacher that had a voice that might have been Dustin Hoffman's (sounded like it) ...
Then she went to our bedroom to take care of bills and closed the door while I continued watching CNN ..the noise of the news was enough for her to complain that it was too loud...
Her mother, who had been living with us the past 13 years , knocked on the bedroom door while I was sitting in the living room. When she opened the door she told me to come over and I knew that by her voice it was something very serious and there she was passed out with vomit with the bills all around her...I tried to revive her and I thought that she had choked on something and not realizing that the vomit often happens after a heart attack
Doris, her mother was talking to 911 while I was trying to rescuscitate her and didn't think to try CPR...the parameds came and could not revive her...
I was upset that they wouldn't let me go in the ambulance with her to Mercy Hospital and that they wouldn't let me spend time wih her alone while she was laying there dead in the hospital bed...We waited to see if the hospital could do anything but I knew that there wasn't any hope
Since then as a survivor, we feel guilt and then try to learn to live each day one day at a time being good to ourselves in order to slowly heal, but we always will have the scars ....I was happy to get into doing my student teaching...they helped so much because I had a purpose every day to teach these freshmen biology, at by coincidence, her high school, NW Classen in Okc. She graduated in the same class as Vince Gill.
Here is something about pericarditis:
What is pericarditis?
Pericarditis is inflammation of the pericardium, the thin sac (membrane) that surrounds the heart and the roots of the great vessels. There is a small amount of fluid between the inner and outer layers of the pericardium. When the pericardium becomes inflamed, the amount of fluid between its two layers increases, compressing the heart and interfering with its ability to function properly.
Symptoms of pericarditis:
chest pain that:
can especially be felt behind the breastbone, sometimes spreading to the neck and left shoulder
is a sharp, piercing pain over the center or left side of the chest that increases if the person takes a deep breath
a low-grade fever
pain when swallowing
What causes pericarditis?
Usually, the cause of pericarditis is unknown, but may include:
a viral, bacterial or fungal infection
heart attack
cancer spreading from a nearby tumor in the lung, breast or the blood
sometimes it may be a secondary symptom of rheumatoid arthritis, lupus (systemic lupus erythematosus) , or kidney failure
How is pericarditis treated?
Analgesics or anti-inflammatory drugs can be given to relieve pain. When excess fluid seriously affects the heart's action, it may be drawn off with a needle. In some cases, surgery may be required.
Acute inflammatory pericarditis usually lasts two to six weeks. About 20 percent of pericarditis patients have a recurrence within months or, sometimes, years later. Each recurrence tends to be less severe until the episodes finally stop.
Author's Location: Gallup, New Mexico
More Poems: reikilover has posted 8 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about reikilover - Click HERE
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