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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 14,916,921  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 22360


Posted: June 13th. 2006 4:33:36 AM

Views: 1852

Where Were You (When You Needed Yourself?)

by Phronesus Disegno

Age Group: Adult

I've heard all the excuses
And I don't mean to boast
But I ask, where were you
When you needed yourself the most?

"I did it for him", "I did it for her"
"I did everything I can do"
Yet there is one thing that wasn't done,
That which you did not do for YOU.

Excuses for him, excuses for her
And still you received the abuse...
Pardon me if I simplify this too much,
Why would true love need an excuse?

If you would have done this,
If you would have done that
Questions loom in your mind
Where IS the love at?

If only it were different
Perhaps there'd be change?
But is WASN'T, my dear
And it's not all that strange

All time is not over
I have been where you are
With my heart in my hand
Hope wished upon a star

And thank GOD, or is it GODDESS?
That the love did not last
For my future is now
And the past is the past

I know love isn't easy
It's a risk that you take
If you let all past mishaps
Avoid a future mistake

So learn all you can
And now you can know
Each failure once passed
Will help you to grow

And learn just one thing
When love is the key:
Balance all that you give
With all you receive

For there's only one person
That you've rightfully earned
To be just who you are
From all you have learned

No more false hopes in vain
Or ignoring the One
Through YOU every day
Life has only begun

For I've heard all the excuses
And I don't mean to boast
But I ask, where were you --
When you needed yourself the most?

Author's Notes: A new friend of mine told me a gruesome story this evening. He gave everything of himself to a man he loved, and do you know what he got in return to show for it after almost fifteen years? Well, he got no attention, he got money taken from him by his so-called "love" who gave him HIV, and he got all those years feeling like a third wheel from someone who considered him "second" to anonymous sexual encounters. Naturally, I felt like I could vomit... but out of social appropriateness, I didn't. ;-)

I'm sure he saw the great big question mark over my head as he was telling me all these things -- I was simply wondering, why did he stay with this worthless guy for so long? My new friend just kept holding on and on through the past years to this guy, thinking one day things would change. But of course, they didn't. Things stayed exactly the same. He said, "I was always there for him, but he was not there for me." And it begged the question that I asked, "You were there for him, but where were YOU when you needed YOURSELF the most?"

I've commented enough on this topic. But it did inspire another poem. I hate keeping this type of thing a secret because it's the type of thing that might mean something to someone else, whom I may not know but who is also keeping it a secret. And plus, I just felt like it. So there. ;-)

But if you want a happy ending, I do have one. My new friend came out of nowhere into my life, freshly moved here from another city of another state. And sometimes, when you meet someone new, you know you will always be friends. I even told him so. He reponded that he was thinking the same thing. Yeah, in this case, it's one of those "always" things. No one can change the past, but it's nice to have a new friend to move forward with. :-)

Author's Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
More Poems: Phronesus Disegno has posted 630 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Phronesus Disegno - Click HERE
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