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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,939,444  



Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 24142

Category:
personal_life

Posted: September 6th. 2006 12:38:22 PM

Views: 812

My Journey

by Vincent

Age Group: Adult



I have succumb to the darkest of places in my life.
Where once there was light and life,
Now there is only darkness and drudgery.

I cannot see myself.
I can only think of how ugly I have become.
I can only imagine the loathing upon others’ faces.
I cannot feel anything,
Except the rage in my soul that grows geometrically, everyday.

In the darkness, I am lashed with anger, hatred, disgust, condescension, and negativity.
The lashes bite deep.
Deeper than mere flesh.
Down to my very core.

I hear laughter in the darkness, but it is not my own.
It is the laugh of thousands.
Millions.
The laughter surrounds me, mocking in its undertone.

Where once I had stability, routine.
I welcomed that.
Where once I thought I was safe from the decoupage of vileness,
And the scourges of this Earth, I basked in its warmth.

Then it came.
The furies of tempests of life came.
Riding their foul steeds of avarice, rage, hatred, selfishness, restlessness, and illness.
With the screams of demons as their voice, they came.

Suddenly my life was hit with the force of titanic proportions,
No longer was I at peace, contentment, and love.
I was now thrust into a never ending battle for my own life.
My own sanity.

No longer was I steadfast and strong,
No longer was I calm and at peace.
No longer did I not have thoughts of compassion and care.
No longer was I the man that I believed I was.

She came.
A presence of evil most foul.
Seducing me, taking from me, without my knowledge- only my stupid consent.
Draining me of life, as a succubus drains its victim.
Illness, discontent, anger, sadness
These are the colors that now infected my palate.
Causing the blossoming portrait I was painting of my life,
To become ugly and vile.

Children came.
Loved.
Protected.
By only myself.

Four beautiful hearts, given to my care.
Excited about having a father and mother.
Yet, how was I to know how the mother would become the vilest of motherhood?
I didn’t. And we all paid the price.

I managed to break free of her poisonous grasp,
And take my four children with me.
Yet how was I to know that the refuge I took them to, would be their undoing?
I lost them to her poison, her lies. And they left me. Alone and afraid.

I searched, since I accepted my fate regarding them.
I looked for my soulmate and companion.
After many attempts, I came across a jewel.
A beautiful ruby in a sea of sand.

Yet, that ruby; so full of life and love,
Held a dark secret.
A secret that eventually spilled outwards,
And contaminated me beyond belief.

Once again,
I am thrust in a battle of wills.
Once again,
I must take up my sword, and my shield.

Out of this toxic fume,
A ray of brightness so intense,
Came forth to bring joy in my life.
A daughter that is mine by blood.

A lifeforce as precious as my four.
I will defend and protect her as long as I have breath in this relm.
And I vow to continue to protect her,
Even if I have to come from beyond the grave.

Now as I wage this daily battle,
I am still attacked from my past, and now my present.
I keep my daughter safe from harm,
Yet I continue to take the brunt for her sake.

Yet now, something else comes to light.
Something I’ve been searching for.
Even now, in the midst of this travesty of relationships.
Hope.




Author's Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
More Poems: Vincent has posted 86 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Vincent - Click HERE
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