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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,812,605  



Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 2542

Category:
humor

Posted: March 8th. 2004 6:57:45 PM

Views: 1934

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore Beans!"

by Phronesus Disegno

Age Group: Adult



I've seen better days,
Wish I'd stayed in bed.
I hear people mumbling,
Knowing not what they said.

This workplace, I'm gazing,
Ain't what it once was.
It is truly amazing
What a layoff does.

Submersed here in quiet,
Wondering what it all means.
Then I think of my diet,
Last night I had beans.

The company plies aspirin,
For my head that once ached.
But they've nothin' for gassin'
From such beans, oh so baked.

I sit here and moan,
But keep working too.
In what could I hone,
That I think, should I do?

There seems to be doubt,
Must I surely withold?
For relief, be without --
Or obtain it so bold.

I must decide now
Before the end of the day,
I'm a person, not a cow,
I could act the right way.

But I've seen better days,
Wish I'd stayed in bed.
So I leaned sideways,
And farted instead.

"Nevermore Beans!"
The raven doth quoth!
An omen? a blessing?
Or neither? Or both?

The raven, black-painted,
Then made no more sound.
In the air it just fainted,
And fell to the ground.

But I was not mean,
He deserved it by far.
He flew in quite low,
And shat on my car.

Now I suppose you
Wonder what this all means?
The truth be told too,
I ate no baked beans.

I never did blow
Raven out of a tree,
By now you should know,
That wouldn't be me.

Raven, black-painted,
Never fell to the ground,
'Cause he never fainted --
Still makes chirping sounds.

Boredom's solved many ways,
And I've already said...
I've seen better days.
Wish I'd stayed in bed.




Author's Notes: I wrote this poem in late 2003 after the company I work for laid off over 80% of its employees. I was not laid off, but the situation was depressing. Having nothing to do at the time, I looked out the window and saw a crow fly by, right about the same time I heard a co-worker tell someone on the phone, "...never again", which was right at the same time someone else set off a battery-powered remote control fart machine. Such poetic inspiration! I hope it brightens your day like it did for a few of my co-workers, chasing all the dark green clouds away... Did I just say that out loud?


Author's Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
More Poems: Phronesus Disegno has posted 627 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Phronesus Disegno - Click HERE
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