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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,691,980  



Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 34908

Category:
humor

Posted: December 17th. 2008 3:36:53 AM

Views: 977

My Lil' Stinkerpot Cat (and Leonine Friend)

by Phronesus Disegno

Age Group: Adult



Little bitty Stinkerpot,
I raised you from a kitten
You ate and ate and ate and ate
And never stopped your sh**tin'.

Lil' orange tabby Stinkerpot,
You ate until you grew
I kept cleaning the litterbox
Still today, it's nothing new.

And as time passed, the air so gassed
Your tummy finally calmed down
You learned to cover up your chores
Good grief, still makes me frown.

Three times a day, lil' Stinkerpot
For cat food, you're a lush!
I'm just so glad the toilet works,
Your chores cause flush after flush.

You come to me, lie on my chest
Then turn around aloof
Your tail poking in my face
It's fine until you "poof"

But how can I resist your charm
Your purring helps me sleep
That is, until I wake alarmed
From expressions from the deep...

And now you're ONE BIG LION cat!
Bright orange rusty gold
Your loving purrs shall mean the most,
But the REAL story is told.

(For all you Leonine friends of mine
The silent truth, it talks!
If you think the Leonine ego is big,
Check the size of the litterbox!)




Author's Notes: It is said that Sagittarians like myself can get away with comments like the one I just made about Leos, because Sagittarians and Leos are said to get along quite well, just like my very best friend, a Leo, and I do. We've been the best of friends for over 14 years, and he has finally learned that my sharp arrows of truth are fragrant roses of compliments compared to everyone else. No pun intended. Well of course the pun was intended.

Of COURSE I was not talking about ALL Leos, just my very best friend in the world. And so, this poem is dedicated to my own lovely kitten-cat lion, the jungle king cat whose nickname is Stinkerpot (or Stinker for short) , but also to my best friend in the whole world, who I promise will recieve a copy of this poem immediately, and who will not be surprised, coming from me. Again.

Of course, my other truly good friend, he is a Virgo, will probably place his hand over his heart lovingly, will simultaneously admire the structure of the poem and shake his head as if there were no hope for me whatsoever. I have other Virgo friends who may very well have the same reaction. "I love the poem... but the content is just a wee bit in question."

My Capricorn friend will recognize the sentiment of the poem but probably just fold her arms and think it is all mush, yet I will know by her Mona Lisa grin that she approves, as only Capricorns can. Then when I take the meaning of "mush" and apply it to the poetic leavings of my kitten-cat, and rhyme "mush" with "flush", she will simply scoff and think there is no hope for me either.

My Aquarian husband will be the saving grace, honoring how accurate and ingenious I am, even if I am not really all that ingenious. He will just love how I incorporated the reality into poetic form, and made fun of our mutual best friend, the Leo; all while honoring our beloved kitten-cat-lion with such precision and admiration, albeit in a backwards sort of way. Aquarians are a bit backwards, you know, but in a forwards sort of way. You'd just have to be an Aquarian to understand. Or else love one with all your heart, no matter if it means turning around the wrong way, taking two steps forward and three steps backward, which is really one step forward at a time, if you know what I mean.

And my Leonine friend? Well, he will love the poem until the last verse. Then I'll have to tell him that we would never have been best friends this long if he weren't the most fabulous and genuinely best person I ever knew, and maybe even scratch his back for good measure. And, it would be the truth. Well, the statement would be the truth. The back scratch would be an honest sort of bribery, but honest is the proper word, so let's just focus on that.

As for lil' Stinkerpot, well, cats don't read poetry. But he will understand what a scratch behind the ears means, down the back to the base of the tail which will point straight up to the Zenith, followed by giving him his his favorite kitten treat, which, incidentally or not as you choose, is pretty stinky in and of itself. Chicken cat treats, I must say, chicken does NOT smell like THAT.


Author's Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
More Poems: Phronesus Disegno has posted 627 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Phronesus Disegno - Click HERE
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