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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 16,701,513  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 38982


Posted: September 22nd. 2010 12:02:42 AM

Views: 1654

In Mother's Arms

by Phronesus Disegno

Age Group: Adult

In mother's arms against her breast
No care in the world, my childhood has confessed
Could I please her and be her husband the best?
Each day became horror in her abusive nest
Such isolation and secrets commanded by her behest
To speak now as a Man of her deathly incest.

Since then I've no life or an ounce of pride
Universally love grows within from inside
Into slavery thought there was peace by her side
Can I trust ever again for all times she has lied?
I know nothing, feel nothing, nor have I ever cried
Death seems better than life, shame and anger to hide
Each day makes me consider, yes, suicide.

Realizing now there are many another
Endless stories, abuse, not by Dad, but by Mother
Covert and in fear, told my sister, not brother
Of all things as a child I was forced to cover
Vast disagreement has come from so many other
Each one blames me, and not my Mother
Real life still forces me to die, or recover.

Author's Notes: Shocked? Don't be. Life is not all about love. And despite any negative responses, I simply won't keep it a secret any longer. I have spoken, and the world did not stop turning.

No form of child abuse is acceptable. To me, because of my mother, the Goddess does not exist. But because I am Gay, neither does the Christian God exist.

So where does that leave me? In a state of spiritual survival.

I am now approaching 40 years old, far enough and distant enough from the abuse that I can actually see a therapist about it. And it seems the only time I can cry is for a short 10 seconds one time each visit.

I know the Goddess is out there somewhere. I thought my mother was the goddess. If you pray, then pray for me, that someday, I wont be so afraid of Her. And if you feel like it, drop me a note saying so, so that I will know. And maybe include the reasons why. Because for so many years, I knew the Goddess was there. But I only acknowledged the God. I believe She understands. I am the one who does not.

Author's Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
More Poems: Phronesus Disegno has posted 630 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Phronesus Disegno - Click HERE
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