Page: Profile: Poetry
||Total Views: 12,133,722
VxPoem ID: 39741
Posted: February 13th. 2011 6:33:34 AM
Blowing Valentine's Day Right Out The *ss
by Phronesus Disegno
Age Group: Adult
Sometimes when you love
There are no words to say
The feelings root within
And bloom most every day
And Valentine's Day is coming
I don't know what to do
Should I buy some chocolate candies,
And maybe a dinner too?
Or should I do the same
As always, in the bed
Before falling fast asleep
Rub my lover's itchy head?
For scratching the itchies away
Is the most loving sort of love...
And I think, therefore, that itchies
Are but one reason to fall in love.
And then say to him, "I love you"
In sheets of fresh cleaned linen
And then FART as loud as I can
With a face that's surely grinnin'?
And then PULL sheets over his head
As he wrestles to get free
And then blame it on our cats
For surely, 'twasn't ME!
And hold back his arms a-flailing
Reaching for the air freshener can --
As he's done many times to ME (too many times!)
Again, and again, and again...
No! -- this Valentine's Day is different --
I will treat him with love galore...
He'll feel love as when it was new!
Then I'll FART as I've done before.
But this time will be different
As old patterns become a bore...
I will HIDE the air freshener cans,
So there's nothing for him to reach for!
No nothing, I say, NOTHING! :-)
Just an ominous dark green cloud!
Oh dear, hand over my heart,
Did I just say all this out loud?!
Now you very well may be wondering
Why I'd write and post such a thing?
No it's not because of "love"
Nor reasons Valentine's Day will bring.
Well, a lovely sentiment I'm sure
As the Catholics belive in it
But if love is shown all year long:
Then who really gives a sh*t?
Not me, that's way too much.
For a sh*t's solid as can be.
Religious fluff is a lot like gas --
Just don't blow it towards me.
Author's Notes: If love is shown all year long, there is no need to reserve a special day for it. If gifts are given all year long, there's no need for Christmas, either.
For me personally, the only dates of importance would be an anniversary date of any true and special event. Whether a birthday anniversary, or a wedding anniversary, those things have meaning to me. I don't do what everyone else does, just because everyone else does it.
But being that my sweetheart values days like Valentine's Day due to his own non-Pagan upbringing, then I will make it special for him as best I can. NOT because the calendar says so, but because the only true meaning lies within what one believes... and he believes Valentine's Day is a special day. So for him and him alone, I will make it special.
Maybe, just maybe, seeing him smile is all the reason I need to smile too. :-)
Author's Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
More Poems: Phronesus Disegno has posted 627 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Phronesus Disegno - Click HERE
Contact Me Via Email...
Email Invites Note: Yes! I have opted to receive invites to Pagan events, groups, and commercial sales
Disclaimer: The Witches' Voice inc does not verify the accuracy of the details stated in this listing, nor do we vouch for the value of the goods or services presented here... As with all contacts and financial dealings in cyberspace, we encourage you to use caution and wisdom in your dealings with strangers.
Political Statements: Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren's Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches' Voice, Inc. TWV is a non-profit, non-partisan educational organization.
State/Country flags created by 3dflags.com and are used with permission
Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2015 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.
Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.
Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren’s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches’ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.
Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.
Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.