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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,240,007  



Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 4497

Category:
humor

Posted: June 8th. 2004 5:38:54 PM

Views: 2221

I Once Gave Myself To Jesus

by Phronesus Disegno

Age Group: Adult



For years I've gotten many calls
From someone who's named Jesus.
He's always used the imperial "we"
And told me, "You must please us!"

My Christian friends were very willing
To give an explanation:
"You must give yourself to Jesus
As have we throughout the nation."

I thought about this long and hard
Until I began to pout.
"If you want me Jesus, give a sign!
What is this all about?"

In my bedroom Jesus suddenly appeared
With long hair and a robe.
He said, "Please let us make this quick,
I've business all over the globe!"

I asked why must I give myself?
He responded very well:
"If you don't flatter me with praise,
I'll send you straight to Hell."

"Well, " I said, "I love your hair,
And that's one sexy beard!
That robe fits your body so very well
That I was awe-struck when you appeard!"

Then Jesus said, "Give yourself to me,
I'll save you when your spirit falls!"
So, I completely gave myself to him...
And now he never calls. :- (




Author's Notes: Just in case anyone was wondering, I really don't feel that way about Jesus. This poem was really more intended to be fictional humor for the purpose of demonstrating that certain aspects of Christianity are not worth taking too terribly seriously. I mean, around here where I have lived all my life so far, there seems to be a tendency to use Christianity as a justification for some humans to tell others that they are somehow "wrong", rather than letting Christianity be a set of worthwhile guidelines for healthy living and achieving harmony and love with each other. While many people have taken Jesus' teachings and turned them into something they were not intended to be, I do not believe Jesus himself wanted that. Knowing this, I am truly grateful that He existed on this Earth long ago, changing the entire world ever after. Perhaps there are many wrong things I need to un-learn about Him, but somehow, I know he has always been on my side, and that's a gift of friendship that I have needed many times in my life.

I don't suppose I'll ever be completely rid of my Christian upbringing, but hey, I don't think that's a bad thing at all. It has been said that there is a kernal of truth in every religion surrounded by a lot of meaningless fluff; and if you can take that one kernal from each religion, you'll have one hell of a corncob!

And besides, I like corn. :-)


Author's Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
More Poems: Phronesus Disegno has posted 627 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Phronesus Disegno - Click HERE
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