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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 10,725,363  



Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 8445

Category:
humor

Posted: January 6th. 2005 1:45:36 AM

Views: 1782

Seasonal Craziness: Wintertime

by Phronesus Disegno

Age Group: Adult



Well, Wintertime has come,
At least is has around here.
Now I envy those folks sunbathing
In the Southern Hemisphere.

My central heating unit
Although it's not on the blink,
The first few times I used it
The burnt smell sure did stink.

Can't run my electric clothes dryer,
Each time I do, I scoff --
It competes with my electric blanket
And the main breaker switches off.

And today was very cold,
But I'm sure it would have been nice,
If I didn't have to force open
My car's door, frozen shut with ice.

And icy were all the roads too,
Disgruntled drivers felt like fighting
When my car slipped down the road
And spelled my name in cursive writing.

I guess I'll learn to ice skate
So much sooner now than later,
A triple-axle I did on the sidewalk,
Like that professional olympic ice skater.
(and if you remember, she landed on her behind with a rather ungraceful "thump"...)

Or maybe I'll learn to breakdance
For each time I slip and fall down
I land on my back with both legs up
As I twirl around and around. (and around.)

The ice will melt so soon
The next day when the Sun does glow
But the clouds will return again
And give us but one inch of snow.

And with only one inch of snow
A snowman can hardly be made
But even if it surely could,
It would melt the next day, I'm afraid.

This cold, cold seasonal time
I don't see why we can't just hack it;
When we wear a big coat once or twice,
But the rest of the time just a jacket.

But you know, it's not so bad
Facing only one time snot will freeze,
Pressing both nostrils frozen shut
Makes me talk like the Springtime bees. :-)




Author's Notes: Bzzz! :-)

Here in Oklahoma the winters are very mild compared to other parts of the world, with only a few days of inclement weather for the whole season.


Author's Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
More Poems: Phronesus Disegno has posted 627 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Phronesus Disegno - Click HERE
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