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 Page: Profile: Poetry   Total Views: 14,735,504  

Poem Specs

VxPoem ID: 8791


Posted: January 18th. 2005 8:32:26 PM

Views: 2278

I Feel Like Doing Something Bad

by Phronesus Disegno

Age Group: Adult

I feel like doing something really bad
But I don't yet know what it is
A ghost from my past talks behind my back
Those ridiculous stories of his

He's changing the past to better conform
How he thought it "should" have been
Making himself out to be the hero,
And I can just see him with a grin

Maintaining an aura he created himself
To avoid facing his truthful fear
Convincing himself of false innocence
And blame me each time I come near

He's digging a hole there to set a trap
He wants me so bad to fall in
Building warheads and such to get me back
Planning carefully for my chagrin

Yes, I feel like doing something bad
To this person denying his guilt
Leaving him to prove all claims he has made
Dressed in innocence to the hilt

I'll let him fall in that trap he has set,
Though he'll say "I" led him askew
I'll let all the rest put his lies to the test
I'm sure he'll blame that on me too

And in the end when there's no one left
When the others concur with me
I'll ask him if he is doing well
Just to hear him disagree

Yes, I feel like doing something bad
I'll leave him alone in his blur
I won't even try to be a nice guy
Setting cautions aside to deter

I'll let him wallow in the mess he made
And tried to blame all on me
The quicksand he made will swallow him up
And I'll watch as he makes his last plea

Yes, I feel like doing something bad
I won't reach out to help this time
He wanted to bring only harm to me,
I'll stand back as he pays for his crime.

Author's Notes: Written circa 2001, after a friendship ended with someone who wanted much more than I could give. Namely, because he had no job, he wanted to get together and be "best buddies" so that he could spend "my" money. He also wanted to assume the authoritative role between him and me when it came to knowledge about metaphysics, when he was nothing more than an "armchair occultist" (one who buys all the books and tools, but only for decorative display to impress people with) . He wanted to tell me all he knew, but wasn't interested in any of my perspectives. Do you see a pattern here?

So I ended the friendship with him and wrote this poem. He was so angry with me (that is, he was upset that I was too smart to let him leech off me) , that he tried to get all of our mutual friends to turn against me. I mean really, that wasn't very smart, treating out mutual friends as if they were not intelligent enough to see right through what he was doing.

I resurfaced this poem after seeing him recently. He still maintains an air of royality around me, as if the world belonged to him and I wasn't welcome in it. I thought to myself, "Hmmm... He hasn't come very far since 2001." After reading over this poem again, I look back and find the whole ordeal rather silly. Not funny, but silly.

Dedicated with kindness to all people who actually spend their time growing spiritually and bettering their own lives as best they can.

Author's Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
More Poems: Phronesus Disegno has posted 630 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Phronesus Disegno - Click HERE
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