Page: Profile: Poetry
||Total Views: 11,693,808
VxPoem ID: 35688
Posted: March 31st. 2009 12:55:43 PM
by Azurite Phox
Age Group: Adult
Okay...yeah...so...I'm fu**ed! Do you think I really care? I've tried and kept my hopes in balance, but they're leaning in despair. I refuse to know who I am because I'm afraid of what I'll see. My world has plummeted further and it splashes through a desolate sea. As I exert to keep my head above the water, I soon begin to lose the will to live. I told myself that it's not my fault, but my doubts tell me it is.
It's like my conscience turned on me so I must force myself not to pop any pills. I want sooo bad to have THEIR life, but my wishing really kills. I scream and scream till my voice is sore, but no one can even hear. Invisibility is why I'm hurting; it's so obvious and clear. I wish that I could run away to a place where I can accept to be alone. But here I remain, hopeless and unwanted. My broken heart can't ever be sewn.
I'm covering up my true emotions by laughing when I'm nervous. I've become a lost soul who pleads for help and who lacks strength and courage. I lie awake after silent fits wondering if I'll be missed. Tears run down my face and land on the prescription bottle that lies in my hand dispensed. I begin to imagine swallowing every last pill and my family finding my still body...dead. More tears begin to well up in my eyes and I let out a wail of dread.
I curse the absent doctors for saving my life and leaving me to suffer. It's all because of my stupid heart that I'm weak and wishing that I was tougher. No one's ever understood anything I've ever done. A few names I recollect being called were weird, ugly, fat, slut, and dumb.
My family and peers tell me they love me every other day. I can't believe them. I refuse to accept that they really want me to stay. The best possible answer I can think of as to why everyone wants me around...They want me to suffer life, but I might as well be six feet underground. I really wish my tears would stop and give my heart a chance to mend. What other possible way is there to make all this excruciating pain end?
Author's Notes: This is typical teen depression. I don't feel this way anymore, but I liked the way I worded it when I wrote it 2 years ago. In that amount of time, I learned that life is precious and it can't be taken for granted...
Author's Location: Laie, Hawaii
More Poems: Azurite Phox has posted 38 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Azurite Phox - Click HERE
Contact Me Via Email...
Email Invites Note: Yes! I have opted to receive invites to Pagan events, groups, and commercial sales
Disclaimer: The Witches' Voice inc does not verify the accuracy of the details stated in this listing, nor do we vouch for the value of the goods or services presented here... As with all contacts and financial dealings in cyberspace, we encourage you to use caution and wisdom in your dealings with strangers.
Political Statements: Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren's Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches' Voice, Inc. TWV is a non-profit, non-partisan educational organization.
State/Country flags created by 3dflags.com and are used with permission
Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2015 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.
Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.
Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren’s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches’ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.
Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.
Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.