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Page: Profile: Poetry
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Poem Specs
VxPoem ID: 32543
Category:
personal_life
Posted: April 2nd. 2008 10:57:24 PM
Views: 176 |
R.A.O.C.
by Eromeus
Age Group: Adult
R.A.O.C.
I hold in the palm of my hand…
A Rock –
Hardened with heat and jagged throughout –
For all happiness it blocks;
this Rock grayed by time and others,
has Become brittle.
No matter what I do,
Harm shall befall me;
a knick was cut in the Rock,
every time I fall.
I have undergone
So much Hate,
Rejection,
Slamming, Kicking,
And Degradation.
Falling into Sadness,
Depression,
Loneliness.
As I began to embrace –
Thoughts Suicidal –
But even now,
You Can’t, Won’t,
and will never have the Ability
To Comprehend
this stress of Mine.
But, also in the depths of my hand,
I hold Ashes –
Of an object;
Formerly one, now twice bisected –
a Heart,
burned with scratches;
Bruising rashes;
and Oozing gashes –
then straying against the Grain
forever leaving a stain,
ripped Asunder from the shattering pain.
Until one day when nothing was left –
Save a rotten, Decaying shell –
That ill-fated December day
in which I burned the Heart,
of failed Emotions.
Then, for no Apparent reason,
Which none can discern,
I dropped the Ashes and the Rock –
Instead now holding a True Crystal Ball –
bright, radiant, glowing Within –
which you gave me,
that cascaded warmth –
of a romantic endeavor so short-lived –
all around;
bringing a fuzzy sensation,
to Lift me off the ground.
Then You Came…
Taking the Rock –
Which I had broken –
And shoving the pieces
beneath my Skin.
There was nothing to say;
I could Never hope see it your way;
on that despicable December day.
A one-sided relationship
that could’ve yielded more;
had it not run,
like a Sinking ship,
into the rocky shore.
Then my anger I could not stay,
For the hope was lost,
That sad December day,
When my life was taken away.
Thereafter, you took the Ashes,
Of the love I once had,
Draining my life force by suffocation,
Of the words I later regretted.
After seizure and self-incrimination,
Of all that is aforetime,
Ruthlessly swindling my one,
Only, precious Crystal Ball –
Which became a symbol;
of the Best,
And yet also the Worst,
of all Mortal existence –
hurling it mightily
into my Direct vicinity,
at a velocity I could not Hope to counter;
square in the chest,
making it crumble upon impact
as it knocked me
off the Edge of my sanity.
Having fallen forever,
Freed from Responsibility –
Of the bonds tied to me,
By life and Society.
Disheartened, am I
For I can never return to what was Before,
as Children do in lullabies.
Thankful,
that you had allowed me to
Escape, from Reality –
As it was Before.
Retroactively wishing we had ne’er met,
because you don’t recognize me anymore.
All I have left,
To hold in my hand,
is an Orb –
minute and obsidian in color –
for all Life it absorbs.
being fused ‘tween the meager
Remains;
of the Ashes, Rock, and Crystal Ball.
The hardness of the Orb –
From Rock pieces;
Scattered abroad,
of the wounds that will not heal,
as I fall from fear.
The color of the Orb –
from the Paranoia,
looking over my back,
and a Whirlwind,
Inside of my head;
in effect, a refraction
of the Ashes.
Its darkness and roundness,
Becoming Perfection,
Gained by the Crystal Ball,
Will always remind me of a time,
When I tried
so Hard,
and got so Far,
but in the End,
It doesn’t even matter.
I shouldn’t have
Kept everything Inside,
Because it all fell apart.
What it means to me, will in essence
become a faded memory;
as I look up and see
only what is to Be.
Trying to amend this
Magnanimously,
but it wouldn’t be accepted
Posthumously.
I have finally achieved Perfection,
in my Imperfections,
But my heart can no longer ignite,
without You.
But the gulf that spans,
Betwixt you and I,
Cannot be crossed by the mind’s eye.
Much less by mere Mortals,
as you and I.
Forevermore, shall I be haunted –
Of that rancid December day –
Before then, we were close,
Now can I only replay,
That Day,
When you shoved me away,
Out of your life,
Shattering my Dreams, as I fall,
Into the Abyss –
For all Eternity.
And still, there you sit, with He –
Whom I utterly Abhor –
Taking everything I ever held in my hand:
Rocks, Ashes, Orbs, and Crystal Balls;
As I keep Dropping…Dropping…Into that Blackened Sea.
Author's Notes: Written in the middle of a depression during the winter of 2000...
Author's Location: Kingsport, Tennessee
More Poems: Eromeus has posted 2 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Eromeus - Click HERE
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