Page: Profile: Poetry
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VxPoem ID: 16945
Posted: October 11th. 2005 10:40:11 AM
by Nyx Sange
Age Group: Adult
I come so close at night
Crying myself to sleep.
It's this spell that's been cast upon me.
When I hear his words, they surface.
They say he's ignoring me.
I come so close to listening
That I come to that point when my tears fall cold.
Why do I feel forsaken?
Have I done something wrong?
I can't say I'm sorry.
I've said it so much that it no longer has meaning.
Those small words that shatter like glass
Once I break the promises.
Every broken promise kills me
And leaves me alone to cry.
My tears are almost dead.
I've broken too much now and I can't fix it.
I can't shut off the voices.
And I know this sounds silly, but
I get worried when he just says "Love you too, "
Instead of "I love you so much."
Silly, I know, but it's just like the other one.
The one who broke me
And forced a mask upon me.
I've lied to myself to make things better,
To make myself happier,
But it's only killed me more.
The tears I have left to shed
Will soon enough show
How I feel truly dead.
Ice falls on my cheek when I feel this way.
I say those three words almost without faith
Because all my life,
I was a scapegoat.
And I tried to make things better by apologizing,
But it only lead to more terrorizing.
My family brought me up to put me down.
I'm being made into an ideal,
When I just want to be me, and they can't accept that.
So I apologize to feel loved by them.
But phanotm love brings no happiness.
And so I shed more tears
That fall empty.
That fall cold.
I wish that my words were not this way.
I've lost trust in almost everyone,
Save for a few friends,
But I fear that I will lose them soon
Because they tell me I'll drive them away.
This fear binds me from the day.
What will I become
With only empty apologies
And dying tears?
Will I become like the crabby hermit,
Driving away anything living?
Or will I just lock myself in my room
Crying and praying for what will never come.
And let my last tears fall down my face.
And take my last breath of this pain called life?
Author's Location: Brookfield, Wisconsin
More Poems: Nyx Sange has posted 63 additional poems- View them?
Author's Profile: To learn more about Nyx Sange - Click HERE
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