| 
|
Page: Profile: Wren's Nest News Local
| Total Views: 4,942,213
|
Article: 6227
[Humor]
Date Posted:
2/5/2003
7:04:37 pm EST
Wvox Stats
Views: 7,843
RSS: 0
Comments: 21
|
The Onion: North Dakota Found To Be Harboring Nuclear Missles!
Author: The Onion (Satire Alert!) Source: The Onion
Title: NORTH DAKOTA FOUND TO BE HARBORING NUCLEAR MISSLES
The stage was set for another international showdown Monday, when chief U.N. weapons inspector Hans Blix confirmed that the remote, isolationist state of North Dakota is in possession of a large stockpile of nuclear missiles.
"Satellite photos confirm that the North Dakotans have been quietly harboring an extensive nuclear-weapons program," said Blix, presenting his findings in a speech to the U.N. Security Council. "Alarmingly, this barely developed hinterland possesses the world's most technologically advanced weapons of mass destruction, capable of reaching targets all over the world."
| Options: [Read Full Story] [Comments Locked]
[Email to a Friend]
|
|
Community Thoughts: There are 21 comments posted | Reverse Sort |
| Dammit I Knew We Should've Seceded... | Feb 9th. at 5:11:13 pm EST |
by Sora Falda (Fargo, ND) - wc_xemail
When we had the chance! Back during the Cold War! Just kidding, really. I love the Onion and it's spoofy-ness. Anywho, speaking as one who lives in ND, we are not a barren, sub-zero wasteland, in fact, it's barely been below 5 degrees all winter and we've got about an inch and a half of snow on the ground right now. And we're not racially homogeneous either, even though I am white and Scandi, but not everyone here is! And for those of you who sounded serious, I hope and pray to the Gods that you know that the Onion is a spoof 'zine! Sheesh! Some people around here! But yes, just so ya know!
|
| I Was There... | Feb 8th. at 2:31:42 am EST |
by Chris (Manteca, CA) - wc_xemail
I saw the siloes in Minot! It's ALL true!!! I spent a year there (in Jamestown) ... they tried to brainwash me into conformity. I mean, a Californian Wiccan headbanger and they wanted me to cut my lonnnnng hair, take out my earrings and listen to Garth Brooks! Next thing you know, I'd have been forced to serve in their armies and I'd be coming home to the US like John Walker Lindh!
Seriously, North Dakota's a nice place overall. I suffered some major culture shock and came back. The people are great, NOT metropolitan in the least. My wife still misses not having to lock the doors or the car.
I do love the Onion's take on this, though. Wish more people would see the irony of the world's largest nuclear power demanding that Iraq (et al) cease and desist in their nuclear and weapons of mass destruction programs... as if WE can be trusted not to fly off the handle - OOPS! too late!
Blessings, and Gods grant us peace and understanding!
Chris
|
| Correction | Feb 6th. at 4:10:45 pm EST |
by Phoebe (USA) - wc_xemail
"Texas was the only state that was it's only country for a while"
Hawaii?
And the Onion rocks! :o) Be sure to check out the front page, the thing about cats is a hoot!
|
| This Is Horrible | Feb 6th. at 1:09:30 pm EST |
by Kei Dallmer (Marlton, Mew Jersey) - wc_xemail
With this going on, knowing that one of our own states are harboring nuclear weapons...How are we going to deal with this? Waris not the answer, and by opinion, it's bush's fault if we loose anything. Even our own people. ND holding weapons doesn't help much.
kei
|
| Republic Of Texas | Feb 6th. at 11:32:56 am EST |
by Trickster (Oceania) - wc_xemail - Web
Yeah, when I lived in Austin I used to think it would be a good thing for Texas to leave the US and form it's own nation again... Then I realized it was full of people who elected George Bush in the first place. Now if AUSTIN could succeed, that would be way cool!
|
| Old Gray Mouse | Feb 6th. at 10:23:11 am EST |
by isis8555 (Texas) - wc_xemail
Thank goodness he's not in Texas, anymore! And wasn't he born in Connecticut? He's not a "real" Texan anyway!
|
| I Second That! | Feb 6th. at 8:33:36 am EST |
by DolphinSmile (Austin, TX) - wc_xemail
Yes, let's sucede! C'mon, Texas was the only state that was it's only country for a while; we can do that again! I nomitate Ann Richards as the president of Texas.
I sure am glad I'm good and far away from North Dakota!
|
| WMD | Feb 6th. at 6:37:45 am EST |
by Old Gray Mouse (Sturbridge MA) - wc_xemail
WE have one weapon of mass destruction, for sure, in Texas.
mouse
|
| ROTF | Feb 6th. at 5:18:05 am EST |
by Sam (Ramstein, Germany) - wc_xemail
This is like way cool, always have loved The Onion, better keep a eye on ND :)
|
| ND Rules | Feb 6th. at 12:59:41 am EST |
by kat (Wahpeton, North Dakota USA) - wc_xemail
Hehehe, North Dakota rules!
I'm amazed that the onion even knew about North Dakota. And yes this is all true.
No, we aren't using covered wagons anymore.
|
| Everything Old Is New Again | Feb 6th. at 12:19:11 am EST |
by Denise (Bremerton, Wa) - wc_xemail
Good God, er Gooddess.I enjoyed the article, but wouldn't it be safer if they were still fighting the Civil war, not the Cold War like all backwards areas.Scary!
|
| Calling All Texans! | Feb 6th. at 12:05:21 am EST |
by Thora (ARK LA TEX) - wc_xemail
NOW IS THE TIME! We've gotta Secede from the Union!
(I love the Onion I keep begging them to let me write for them but they just won't answer my emails.)
|
| *running In Circles* | Feb 5th. at 11:45:23 pm EST |
by Roman (Seattle) - wc_xemail
OH MY GOD WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!!!
|
| It's The Big One, Martha! | Feb 5th. at 10:27:02 pm EST |
by Bermuda shorts guy (Renton, WA USA) - wc_xemail
Good gracious, I thought there was some funny goin-on's up there on that prairie. You know, I met a guy from Fargo last fall. Shifty son-of-a-hockey-puck, if you get my meaning.
I knew they had nukes. You can smell 'em. Dirty Bastards!
Holy Cow! Put down that remote, Martha. Grab hold of Binky and his chew toy, we're headin' for the Shelter!
|
| No Way?!? | Feb 5th. at 9:59:20 pm EST |
by Greenleigh (here on earth) - wc_xemail
LOL yea, I hear that one as they move em all out of Iraq and north Korea, and station them all over NorthDakota. Tho I do find it rather strange
|
Disclaimer: The Witches' Voice inc does not verify the accuracy of the details stated in this listing, nor do we vouch for the value of the goods or services presented here... As with all contacts and financial dealings in cyberspace, we encourage you to use caution and wisdom in your dealings with strangers.
Political Statements: Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren's Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches' Voice, Inc. TWV is a non-profit, non-partisan educational organization.
|
State/Country flags created by 3dflags.com and are used with permission
Web Site Content (including: text - graphics - html - look & feel)
Copyright 1997-2009 The Witches' Voice Inc. All rights reserved
Note: Authors & Artists retain the copyright for their work(s) on this website.
Unauthorized reproduction without prior permission is a violation of copyright laws.
Website structure, evolution and php coding by Fritz Jung on a Macintosh G5.
Any and all personal political opinions expressed in the public listing sections (including, but not restricted to, personals, events, groups, shops, Wren’s Nest, etc.) are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinion of The Witches’ Voice, Inc. TWV is a nonprofit, nonpartisan educational organization.
Sponsorship: Visit the Witches' Voice Sponsor Page for info on how you
can help support this Community Resource. Donations ARE Tax Deductible.
The Witches' Voice carries a 501(c)(3) certificate and a Federal Tax ID.
Mail Us: The Witches' Voice Inc., P.O. Box 341018, Tampa, Florida 33694-1018 U.S.A.
| |
