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| Witchvox Chapter: Wren's Nest News | Chapter Page Views: 56,549,332 |
 Mother's Open Paganism Treated As Reason To Deny Her Custody Author: Eugene Volokh Source: Huffington Post, Yahoo Title: MOTHER'S OPEN PAGANISM TREATED AS REASON TO DENY HER CUSTODY From the trial court's judgment giving the father custody, Dexter v. Dexter, no. 2005 DR 0110 (Ct. Com. Pl. Portage County, Ohio May 1, 2006), aff'd, 2007 WL 1532084 (Ohio App. May 25): [Mother] has undertaken to engage in a lifestyle that is extreme by normal social standards and [mother] testified that she is a devotee of sado-masochism; that she is bisexual; that she engages in paganism; that she has used illicit drugs on a semi-regular basis; and that she spends a great deal of time online where she has two to four websites of so-called "blogs." The evidence also indicates that her fiance ... also engages in sado-masochism, and in the past produced and starred in a theater troupe depicting such activity while also engaging in such conduct in his private life with [mother].... Submitted by and Thanks to: Seshen | |
| Community Thoughts: There are 20 comments posted | Reverse Sort |
| ... | Aug 6th. at 7:12:34 pm EDT |
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Murigen (Graham, Washington) - Email Me Sorry Sam, I don't agree with you. |
| .. | Aug 5th. at 11:30:56 pm EDT |
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Sam (Merrick, New York) - Email Me Paganism, sexuality and fetishes aside, anyone who uses illicit drugs, even just weed, should not be allowed to rais a child. It is compleatly irrisponsible, even if the children are asleep. No responsible judge would let someone who admits to that have their children back. |
| I Read The Actual Decision | Aug 5th. at 12:40:01 am EDT |
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Shadowbear (Hillsboro, Oregon) - Email Me Thank you Jen for providing the link. I can tell you that this case was primarily decided on 2 factors - the opinion of the guardian and the failure to grant visitation. If you delete all other factors the custody would have gone to the father based on these two things alone. When I used to do custody hearings the attorneys knew that you can have testimony for days - but the decision would be based on the court-appointed psychologist's report. The judge would do what the shrink said, end of discussion. I think the judge here considered her lifestyle, especially her statement that she would continue to use drugs while her child was asleep as a factor but the fact that the girl did not even want to be in the same room as her mother was a primary factor as was the fact that mom changed her phone number and moved - denying visitation for 7 months. That alone would get custody changed everywhere I practiced law. |
| Media Only Sees "Paganism" | Aug 4th. at 9:23:34 pm EDT |
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CerdwinAine (Chillicothe, Ohio) - Email Me - Web I think once again the media has picked up on the one keyword "Paganism" mentioned in the charges brought against this woman, and has failed once again to remember that being Pagan does not make her a criminal, or a bad parent, or a bad human being, or a sexual deviant. As long as she is not engaging in her SM practices with the child in the room, abusing her child or allowing her boyfriend to abuse her, either physically, sexually or mentally, or using hard core drugs like cocaine, crack, meth, heroine, etc. or if she is in any other way neglecting the care and well being of her child, then the courts, nor any nosy neighbor has the right to interfere in how she raises her daughter. The mother has a right to engage in any sexual preference she choses as long as she and her partner/s do it in private. If she is truly a practicing Pagan, and raising her child as such then there is no better foundation to teach her daughter respect for all life, to not discriminate against others no matter what their chosen path of life, to be accountable for her own actions, and to live in harmony with the rest of the world, when they will let you. If the press cannot report these cases without trying to credit all the wrongs of the world to "paganism", or alternative life styles, then they need to become fiction writers, or screen writers .. .they have no place in journalism. |
| To The Judge | Aug 4th. at 2:13:00 pm EDT |
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Moonlight Wolf (Bradford, England) - Email Me Quite frankly it's none of your business what this lady gets up to in the bedroom and I'm quite sure she's smart enough not to do it in front of her kid. Being bi-sexual and/or Pagan has nothing to do whether or not someone is a suitable parent or not. Apparently you do not believe in freedom of religion or freedom of sexual choices/lifestyle. These things should not even have come up. Have you ever asked what religion the father is and what his sexual choices are for the has obviously been close enough to this woman to have sex with her? The only thing that works against this woman is the drug use and even the information on that is sketchy at best. It seems justice really is blind. Perhaps judges and juries should wear blindfolds like Justice on many Tarot cards. |
| Not Enough Information | Aug 4th. at 6:09:37 am EDT |
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Cather -Catalyst- Steincamp (Cumberland, Virginia) - Email Me Bravo to those of you who recognize that maybe this article doesn't have enough information in it to form a reasonable opinion!! I'm pleased to see that not everyone is automagically assuming that Pagan == not guilty == discrimination. I'm kind of concerned about the info we have in this article, yes, but I'm actually more worried about this passage: "...and that she spends a great deal of time online where she has two to four websites of so-called 'blogs.'" Huh-what? Clearly, we're not getting the whole picture here. I can easily believe that a judge might be wary of a bisexual Pagan drug user into BDSM, but are you really trying to sell me that he was worried about her being a blogger?? I'd like more information on the drug use, the blogging, and the BDSM theatre of the boyfriend before I say for sure, but I think this is one of those cases where the minority status of the defendant is receiving more press attention that the rest of the information in the case. I am reminded of a high school classmate who unsuccessfully mounted a "not guilty because I'm poor and black" argument, and screamed racism when the court relied on the conclusive evidence and his own confession. |
| ... | Aug 4th. at 3:11:47 am EDT |
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argilcath (Rapid City, Colorado) - Email Me It is possible that "Pagan" raised a red flag with the judge, regardless of how each parent's religious practices carried into the children's lives. However, based *solely* on what I read in a rather sensationalized article written to elicit sympathy for this mother, I would side with the judge as well. I've put in a lot of hours for one of my causes, and heard a lot of horror stories from women working up to divorce and/or custody battles. Both staff and volunteers knew that *not* every woman was the best custodial parent. (Sadly, the father was not the better choice in too many of those cases.) It's quite possible that the husband's counsel successfully painted a horrible picture of a benign lifestyle. It happens regularly to parties on both sides, and is always a miscarriage of justice. And yet... Neither Pagan nor Christian affiliation automatically confers spiritual, ethical or intellectual superiority; it always depends on the individual. If the claims as stated were true, then this woman is demonstrating a consistent and remarkable inability to make prudent choices to protect her own life--with discretion topping the list. Someone with such poor judgement should not be entrusted with minor children. She is free to indulge all her impulses insofar as she does not run afoul of the law (telling a judge that she regularly uses controlled substances?) but her children are better off with a parent who, apparently, impressed the judge with his ability to put his children ahead of any of his own (unreported in this article) iffy impulses. |
| Sensible Decision | Aug 4th. at 1:03:02 am EDT |
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Ahr-Ohn (Bridgeport, Connecticut) - Email Me "Hear the cases, and give your decisions, but don't explain your decisions because, while your decisions will generally be right, your reasoning will generally be wrong." It's an up-hill battle, for a father to get custody, and this battle was won. First, she was not the judge's kind of person, and gave him a perjorative gut feeling. Second, examining the evidence, while the mother had every right to her individual tastes and lifestyles, as a mother, she had her head up her .... I think the judge shares my qualms, about assigning custody to any man who'd have married this woman, but support the theory that the extent that the Flying Spagetti Monster allows Evolution as a successful muddle. Arawn |
| Were Does The Truth Lie | Aug 3rd. at 9:36:54 pm EDT |
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Ander s. Drake (hays, Kansas) - Email Me what is true about this article does the mother take illegal drugs? or small amounts of religous inhancing herbs/drugs whatever? Is she a pagan and a sado-masochism? or does the judge/childs father consider them one in the same? Is she just a gothic pagan? is she falutining her sexualty? or is the fact that she is bi regruardless of how careful she is falutining her sexualty? is the judge being imparcial? or did he judge her from the moment he find out she was pagan and does the judge have a history of favoring one religion over another? Is this article written from an honest journlist or some one who would gain from twisting the true? |
| I'm Glad I'm Not Alone! | Aug 3rd. at 9:24:51 pm EDT |
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Aidan Odinson (Collingdale, Pennsylvania) - Email Me Thank you, Shadowbear. A pity others didn't see what you pointed out. Paganism makes headlines - unfortunately. My guess is that if she carried on the other aspects of her life as stated here and was an Episcopalian, the headline would not have mentioned Episcopalianism. And there might be a few Episcopalians with a lifestyle similar to hers, for all I know. My guess is that the other issues carried the weight. While I don't know her, I would also say that from some of the other issues, she'd have to do something for herself before I'd want to point her out as a fellow Pagan. |
| Having Seen Hundreds Of Custody Fights | Aug 3rd. at 8:12:12 pm EDT |
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Shadowbear (Hillsboro, Oregon) - Email Me I can tell you that this one was not decided based on paganism. The headline is, once again, an attention-grabber. Who would be excited by another "mother loses custody of children due to drug use and sado-masochistic behavior on her part and her fiance's part. I don't think bisexualtiy would be a deciding factor unless she was also promiscuous but the other two factors would tend to get custody given to the other parent (I am assuming he does not have any serious factors against himself) . I have handled cases where a drug addict and an alcoholic were fighting over custody - we (the attorneys) had to tell them that they risked losing the children entirely if they went in front of a judge and each told how bad the other was. It is a tough world out there for the children. |
| Wrong Article | Aug 3rd. at 7:55:46 pm EDT |
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Arachne Priestess (Cookeville, Tennessee) - Email Me oooppss..........sorry |
| I Just Hate It When | Aug 3rd. at 7:52:46 pm EDT |
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Arachne Priestess (Cookeville, Tennessee) - Email Me authors are zealot idiots who don't take the time to research their own material enough. But then again, I also hate those who leave comments with book spoilers, as is the case in the comments section of this article. So its slightly annoying on both ends. ::Sigh:: |
| Is There No Standard Anymore | Aug 3rd. at 7:20:26 pm EDT |
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Raven Spirit (Kansas City, Missouri) - Email Me - Web I am sorry but I agree with the judges ruling to a point. Here is why.... No I do not think that paganism is a reason to loose yur children and it was not the only reason. All religions should be protected under law. That does not mean everyone agrees or understands. if you dont like the ruling apeal.....but in this case... The wild sexual behavior which shold eb private between the two partners was a factor And I am sorry but anyone fighting for their children that is stupid enough to stand in front of the judge and say...yep I want my kids and I will provide for them....and oh yes my boy friend and Itake illegal drugs on a regular basis.......IDIOT. I am a divorced father of two. My kids Mom is one hellva lady and a good parent. But if the above mentioned things were happening you had better bet we would be in court and I would demand the same thing. Guys this one was not all about paganism and in fact it was listed under many things. may not like it...but if you are fighting for kids you better make sure you look like a saint Raven Spirit |
| Paganism Is One Of The Reasons | Aug 3rd. at 7:14:32 pm EDT |
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Wytchone (LaPlace, Louisiana) - Email Me Well the mother's religion was the sole reason, I would think she could get it overturned. However she also states " she is a devotee of sado-masochism; that she is bisexual; that she engages in paganism; that she has used illicit drugs on a semi-regular basis; and that she spends a great deal of time online where she has two to four websites of so-called "blogs." The evidence also indicates that her fiance ... also engages in sado-masochism," So there is more of a issue of drug use that would be the problem I would think. There is not much listed about the childs father but the judge may see him as the better choice IF he does none of those things. I just hope and pray the judge is doing what's best for the child. Still I have known a mother or two where the father lied to get back at the mother. Just wish we had more info on him. |
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