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| Witchvox Chapter: Wren's Nest News | Chapter Page Views: 56,555,521 |
 The Quirky New Gods Of A Modern Religion Author: John Fladd Source: Manchester HippoPress (NH) Title: THE QUIRKY NEW GODS OF A MODERN RELIGION When I decided to earn my Master’s Degree, I failed to take into account that I would be surrounded by people much smarter than myself. On the other hand, I am really interested in the subject of this course, which deals with the role of mythology in society, and while I confess that I can’t work up a great deal of enthusiasm for epistemological interpretations of “Piers Plowman” by Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell (okay, I admit I just made that up), I do like the idea of looking at the role myths play in day-to-day life. Yes, I understand that there is a critical difference between ancient peoples and people who are ancient, but nevertheless, this has got me thinking: perhaps what we really need in modern society are a set of myths and gods that address the things that we really care about in our society. In fact, I’ve gone a step further and developed a list of new gods for our time. You’re welcome. New god #1 Steve, God of the Superbowl Symbol: A half-eaten corn chip Acceptable sacrifices: car keys and loose change, to be deposited beneath sofa cushions. The Great and Powerful Steve does not have the ability to actually make your team win, but if prayers and sacrifices find favor in his sight, your wife will believe that five more minutes actually does equal five real minutes. | |
| Community Thoughts: There are 15 comments posted | Reverse Sort |
| I Wonder... | Mar 12th. at 8:39:36 pm EST |
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by Jo (CO) - wc_xemail if Sid is benevolent to people who read through video game manuals before they play their new game. I always try to save all my game manuals for various reasons, but I just like to read them, too. Even game boy manuals have their own little nook on my self. But I read them so much I tend to lose them or spill soda all over them or their cover's tear off. I should be more careful so as not to bring down Sid's wrath, I guess. |
| SKOR? | Mar 12th. at 2:42:12 pm EST |
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by Ananke (NYC) - wc_xemail Well, I'm glad I now know about Skor......my husband has unwittingly been worshipping her for years. I used to call it the Sanitation Worker's disease......but now I realize that he is just part of the cult of SKOR! My husband has been pulling useful stuff and treasures out of the trash for years. We've gotten some pretty great occult and pagan books in this way as well as items for our home altar. He is the ultimate recycler. We hate seeing things just going to sit in a landfill forever. He's even gotten some things from the trash that are quite valuable as collector's items. He's found foreign cash that we've exchanged for as much as $70 US. All hail SKOR! |
| Poor Bob... | Mar 12th. at 12:51:46 pm EST |
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by Kz (Hell Michigan) - wc_xemail The great God who helped me many times always seems ignored. *sniffs* I could always leave computer chips for Him...that would be a nice offering. ^^ Or my dad always has spare memory stuff. I liked this article a lot and I hope more people who are geeks like me care about our little computer God named Bob. ^^ |
| Most Important Ritual To Leonard | Mar 12th. at 11:32:41 am EST |
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by Titania (East Coast, USA) - wc_xemail Mr. Fladd forgot the most important ritual to Lenoard, to be performed the eve of the desired snowday: Wear your pajamas inside out with your underwear on the outside. It works so effecively that last year my daughter cuased 28 inches of snow garnering in a solid week off of school. However, one of the side effects is the several inches of rain falling a week later resulting in flooded basements. |
| Honoring Squat Properly Gets Darn Close To 100% | Mar 12th. at 10:56:51 am EST |
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by Sue McCullough (Oakland, CA) - wc_xemail After the *children* have chanted: "Hail, Squat, full of grace, " "Make for us a parking space." until the necessary spot is revealed, as we pull the family minivan into its spot, the entire family chants in unison: "Hail, Squat, full of grace, " "THANK YOU for the parking space." As long as we remember the very enthusiastic thank you, she comes through for us very reliably. The one exception we've noticed is when we visit a friend who lives half a block from People's Park (remember the free speech movement of the 60's) just off the UC Berkeley campus. Nobody ever gets a decent parking spot less than two blocks away, ever! |
| Sid | Mar 12th. at 10:22:28 am EST |
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by Ashe Winterwolf (TX) - wc_xemail I didn't realize my hubby and I are avid devotees of Sid...so devout we that we have several Holy Junk Draws full of instructions and manuals. I'd also say that I've been a follower of the Goddess Chocolata, especially during the Holy Rites of PMS. |
| Asphalta | Mar 12th. at 9:55:57 am EST |
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by isis8555 (Houston, TX) - wc_xemail The favored chant to Asphalta: Hail! Asphalta, full of grace! Help me find a parking place! As noted by a previous poster concerning his success with the Goddess Squat, this chant has proved about 75% effective. Blessed Be |
| All Hail Squat!!! | Mar 12th. at 8:40:02 am EST |
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by RuneWolf (Reston, VA) - wc_xemail - Web I just want to follow up on Penny’s bit about Squat. Folks, in all my dealings with the Gods, the single MOST recurring and consistent phenomenon has been the manifestation of Squat. I’ve been in umpteen rituals, and never seen the other Gods manifest as frequently and predictably as Squat. My first encounter with Her was in downtown Seattle, when my then-Wiccan-Teacher demonstrated the phenomenon in front of the Pike Place Market. If anyone knows Seattle and the Market, you will appreciate how Otherworldy it was to have a space open up after my teacher had been chanting for only a few seconds. Since that time, my unofficial analysis would indicate that the Invocation to Squat works about/above 75% of the time, which is, in the realms of magick, an AMAZING track record. I have demonstrated this phenomenon to people both inside and outside the Craft, and one and all have been duly amazed. The only point of divergence I have with Penny is that I was taught the proper sacrifice to Squat was to tell a really awful joke – preferably to a complete stranger – after receiving your holy parking spot. All Hail Squat!!! |
| How Could We Forget? | Mar 12th. at 8:29:38 am EST |
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by roguetamlin (Somerville, MA,) - wc_xemail Asphalta, Goddess of driving and parking spaces. She's a major Goddess here in the Boston area. |
| Skor! | Mar 12th. at 12:30:25 am EST |
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by Rayven (Dallas, TX) - wc_xemail Skor, goddess of garage salers, dumpster divers, and the curb-side shopping club. Her worshippers can be found anywhere something useful is being put out for the garbage. Thrift-store shopping is another favored ritual. Offerings are given by leaving them by the curb a day or two before trash collection or giving them to your local Goodwill. |
| Goddess Of Potty Training | Mar 11th. at 10:28:36 pm EST |
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by Dove (Delmar, MD) - wc_xemail Any sugestions? Dove |
| Domestic God | Mar 11th. at 10:12:22 pm EST |
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by Gryffyd (Brisbane, Australia) - wc_xemail And the most abused domestic God... John - God of the Lavatory Symbol - A white disc, Vacant writen in green and Engaged written in red. Aceptable Sacrifice - No one has yet figured out how to placate John. John is the God who is responsible for vacant lavatories, unfortuanately no-one ever thinks about him unless they are close to bursting and all cubicles are full. The most used ritual for John is to cross the legs, bounce up and down on the spot and hammer in a staccato rythym while chanting "c'monc'monc'mon". Not to be taken lightly he has been known to cause all sorts of nasty, embarrasing 'accidents'. |
| The Proper Goddess Name | Mar 11th. at 8:32:31 pm EST |
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by Penny J. Novack (Berkshire Mntns, MA USA) - wc_xemail Lo! Unto all who look for spaces in which to squat -- er, park their cars, a Goddess benevolent has long been hunky dory so it be that She be offered chocolate. Friends have told me chocolate nuns are preferred but nobody understands why. The name of this holy and benevolent Goddess is Squat. I have heard prayers most formal and others quite simple. "Squat ! Squat! Give me a Spot! has worked just as well as longer more mellefluous rhymes. It should rhyme, of course. And the Goddess parks herself comfy in a lovely space which conveniently is right near the worshipper's desire. Until you find it. Nobody knows how to get the chocolate nuns to her. Some people think it's an etherial form of humor. Others suspect that in the afterlife they will toil in a chocolate factory. Now that I think of it, that doesn't sound so bad.... |
| Yes, I Think Sid Is Popular.... | Mar 11th. at 8:27:06 pm EST |
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by Rainwriter (Hawaii) - wc_xemail I will admit that my husband also worships Sid, which is an interesting paradox because he is atheist. In our bottom file drawer are the owners manuals for everything we have ever bought that has a manual and some for things the neighbors have bought, that I have never seen the actual household objects for. I have made it a tradition to clean through them every five years. The tradition includes a roaring bonfire and toasting marshmallows. Now if I could only find a way to combine this tradition with Beltane....hmm.... ...Sid has a helper deity known as Small Sid who is worshipped by people who mail in the registration cards for everything including curling irons and can openers. This deity is also known in our house. BB everyone :) |
| Some May Scoff But -- | Mar 11th. at 8:12:29 pm EST |
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by Tina (Florida) - wc_xemail My father has long been a High Priest of Sid. His garage is a Shrine to Sid. Filed away are assembly instructions for bikes no one owns anymore, users manuals for defunct household appliances and owners manuals for cars my brothers totaled in the their teens. Unfortunately the family has never understood or followed Siddism. |
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